


Defying Gravity Falls

by RockSunner



Category: Gravity Falls, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Adventure, Bechdel Test Pass, F/F, Magic-Users, Musical, Oz - Freeform, Parody, Romance, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 04:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5191985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockSunner/pseuds/RockSunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is a cross between "Gravity Falls" and "Wicked." It details the stormy relationship between Mabelphaba and Pacifica the Perfect. All characters belong to Alex Hirsch, not me. Scenes and song lyrics parody the work of Stephen Schwartz in his musical based on the novel by Gregory Maguire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No One Mourns the Wacky

Toby Determined held up a copy of his newspaper with a young woman's face on the front page. It wore a goofy grin, but it was crossed out.

"Extra, extra!" he called. "The Wacky Witch of West Gravity Falls is dead!"

The townspeople gathered around and began to sing:

"Good news!  
She's dead!  
The Wacky Witch is dead!  
The wackiest witch in Gravity Falls  
The weirdest one anyone here recalls, is dead!  
Good news!  
Good news!"

A blond young woman descended in a glowing pink bubble, smiling and curtsying to the crowd.

"It's Pacifica!" called Tyler.

"Pacifica the Perfect," said an old lady with admiration in her voice.

Pacifica sang:

"Let us be glad  
Let us be grateful  
Let us rejoice that the commonplace could subdue  
The goofy workings of you-know-who  
Isn't it nice to know?  
That sense will conquer silly  
That we get through willy-nilly by and by  
When we try  
For you and-"

Manly Dan shouted: "No one mourns the wacky!"

Lazy Susan said, "No one lays a flower on their grave."

Pacifica sang:

"And everyone knows  
The Wacky's lives are lonely  
They get so unpopular  
The Wacky die alone  
It shows she should have listened to her betters  
And not have worn  
All those silly sweaters."

"Tell us!" shouted Tyler. "What made Mabelphaba so goofy?"

Pacifica said, "Are people born Wacky? Or do they have Wackiness thrust upon them?  
After all, she had a father. She had a mother, as so many do..

There were rumors of a traveling vacuum-cleaner salesman, and a green elixir. All that is known for sure is that she was born unnaturally green, and her twin brother, Dipparose, was born a few minutes later, unable to walk. It couldn't have been easy."

The town sang in chorus:

"No one mourns the Wacky!  
Now at last, her wild pranks are put down.  
Now at last, there's joy throughout the town  
And Sensible knows  
We know what Sensible is  
Sensible knows  
The Wacky die alone."

Pacifica sang, "She died alone..."

"Good news! Good news!" the town chorused. "She was wacky! Wacky!"

Old Man McGucket called out from the crowd, "But Pacifica, ain't it true you was her friend?"

"Oh..." said Pacifica. "No. Not exactly... her friend. Our paths crossed one summer a few years ago... and then when she came back here to school..."


	2. Dear Old Fizz

Students clustered in front of a steep stone staircase, which led to magnificent buildings half jutting out, half carved into the cliff face beside the huge flowing waterfall for which Gravity Falls was named.

The students sang:

"At the hallowed Falls, are the stony walls  
Of the proudliest site there is.  
The Falls Instutite of Zoology  
And also Xenobiology  
Which we call dear old Fizz (dear old Fizz)  
Which we call dear old FIZZZZZZ."

Pacifica was wheeled in on top of an enormous cart loaded with luggage, by a small army of servants.

"Carry my things upstairs while I mingle with my admirers," she ordered.

The servants muttered under their breath but did as they were told. Pacifica prepared herself to be the center of attention, as she always was.

Then Mabelphaba arrived, pushing her brother's wheelchair. Everyone stared at the green girl with a bright magenta sweater. It had a star trailing a rainbow on the front.

"What are you looking at? You like my sweater? I knitted it myself," said Mabelphaba. "Or are you wondering about the green? Yes, I like to roll in the grass, and eat leaves, too. Follow my lead and you too, can be fashionably green."

"Sis, don't call attention to us," said Dipparose in a quiet voice. "I'm embarrassed already. Just go on without me. I can get in by myself, Mabbie."

"And maybe you can't, Dippa," said Mabelphaba. "They don't follow handicap access rules very well around here. I'll have to boost you up these steps, just like I did to get you to our bedroom in the attic a few summers ago."

"No 'boosts' with your powers," said Dipparose. "That will really get us in trouble."

"When you got the scholarship here, I promised Mom and Dad I would take care of you. That's what I'm going to do," said Mabelphaba.

A powerfully-built older woman charged up to the group.

"Welcome, new students. I am Ms. Sassica Morrible, headmistress of this school. We have nothing but the highest hopes for some of you. For the others, I only have one thing to say: why you ackin' so cray-cray?"

She gave Mabelphaba a disapproving glance as she said this.

"Now, regarding room assignments," Ms. Morrible said.

Pacifica put her hand up. "Oh, Ms. Morrible, I've already been assigned a large private suite... But my personal posse can come visit me whenever they like."

Shen-Shen, a young African-American girl, said "How nice of you, Pacifica."

Pfanee, a girl with short reddish-brown hair, said, "You are so good."

"Perfect, actually," said Pacifica, swishing her hair.

Ms. Morrible said, "Did you have an actual question?"

"Yes, I do," said Pacifica. "I am Pacifica Northwest, descendant of the famous Nathaniel Northwest, who founded this town. I've applied to your seminar on alchemy and ancient magic."

Ms. Morrible said, "I don't teach that every semester, unless someone really special comes along."

"Exactly," said Pacifica.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ms. Morrible saw something. She turned and gave her full attention to Mabelphaba, who was lifting her brother's wheelchair up the steps by telekinesis.

"Girl, how you doin' that?" Morrible called out.

Mabelphaba was startled, and the wheelchair crashed down onto the stairs. She barely caught it in time to prevent it from bumping down.

"Watch it!" said Dippa.

"Ummm, it's just an odd knack I have," said Mabelphaba. "I'm sorry."

"Never apologize for talent, girl," said Ms. Morrible. "That's cray-cray. You have a gift for psionics, and you shall be in my seminar."

"With me?" asked Pacifica.

"Without you," said Ms. Morrible.

"I'm not really a student," said Mabelphaba. "I'm just here to look after my brother, Dipparose. My name's Mabelphaba Pines, by the way."

"Mabelphaba. You're not on my list for a room," said Ms. Morrible. "But we'll fix that right now. You can share the large private suite of Ms. Northwest."

"What?" said Pacifica.

"What?" said Mabelphaba.

"Its all settled," said Ms. Morrible. She sang:

"Many years I have waited  
For a gift like your to unfurl.  
I predict the Psychic could make you  
His right-hand assistant, girl.  
My dear, I'll write at once to the Psychic,  
Tell him of you in advance.  
With a talent like yours, dear, there is  
A definite-ish chance.  
If you will work as I say  
I will no longer call you cray-cray."

"Whee!" said Mabelphaba.

"Congratulations, sis!" said Dipparose.

"Ms. Morrible?" asked Pacifica.

"Not now, girl," said Morrible. "Bye-bye. Enjoy your new talented roomie."

"Will this make me a better person?" Pacifica asked herself. "No, but... having a horrible, unpopular roommate can only make me look better by comparison."


	3. The Psychic and I

Dipparose wheeled over to her. "Mabelphaba, it's great you can learn how to control your psionic powers here, but I wouldn't put much hope in getting a job with the Child Psychic. I don't trust that guy. Grunkle Stan lost his business to L'il Gideon and he had to send us home that summer. We haven't even heard from Grunkle Stan since."

"Dippa, Grunkle Stan turned over his property voluntarily and left town, that's what they all say," Mabelphaba said. "It wasn't Gideon's fault that Grunkle Stan couldn't compete with someone so great, with his run-down Mystery Shack."

"I have my suspicions about that. There's something wrong in Gravity Falls," said Dipparose. "I wish I had been able to get out and look for clues, instead of being stuck in a wheelchair."

"Didn't I go out exploring for you every day, and bring you back hand-made scrapbooks and journals of everything I saw?"

"Yes, and I'm grateful for them, Mabbie. They're so colorful and full of stickers. I just think we could have found out more if I had helped investigate."

"Don't spoil my dream, bro. I see a bright future ahead for us, with the Psychic."

Mabelphaba sang happily:

Did you see what just happened?  
Have you actually understood?  
This weird quirk I've tried to suppress or hide  
Is a talent that could help me with the Pyschic,  
If I make good.  
So I'll make good.  
I've never met the Pyschic,  
I've only seen ads on TV,  
But I want to meet him,  
Inside I'm getting all  
Curiousy!

Once I'm with the Psychic,  
My whole life will change,  
'Cuz once you're with the Psychic  
No one thinks you're strange  
No parents are not proud of you,  
No brother acts ashamed,  
And all the world just has to love you  
When by the Psychic you're acclaimed.  
And this gift or this curse  
That I have inside  
Maybe he can tell me why  
When we are hand in hand,  
The Psychic and I.

Super great, my future's super duper great  
And I've just had a vision almost like a prophecy  
I know it sounds really crazy  
And yes, the vision's hazy  
but I swear some day there'll be  
A celebration in Gravity Falls  
That's all to do with me!

And I'll stand there with the Psychic  
Feeling things I've never felt  
And I'll be so glad to show it  
I'll be so happy I could melt!  
And so it will be for the rest of my life  
And I'll want nothing else 'till I die  
Held in such high esteem!  
When people see me they will scream  
For half of GF's favorite team:  
the Psychic...  
And I!


	4. Loathing Roomies

Mabelphaba and Pacifica were each in their own corners of their shared suite. They had painted a red line across the floor and around the walls to divide the rooms up. Each was writing to her parents.

Pacifica wrote, "Dearest, Perfectest Mumsy and Pater..."

Mabelphaba wrote, "Dear Mom and Dad,"

Both sang, "There's been some confusion over rooming here at Fizz."

Mabelphaba sang, "But of course, I'll care for Dippa."

Pacifica sang, "But of course, I'm going to triumph."

Both sang, "For I know that's how you'd want me to respond. Yes, there's been some confusion, for you see, my roommate is..."

Pacifica wrote: "Unusually and exceedingly peculiar, and altogether quite impossible to describe..."

Mabelphaba wrote, "A walking one-dimensional bleached blond valley-girl stereotype!"

Both stopped writing and continued to sing.

Pacifica sang, "What is this feeling so sudden and new?"

Mabelphaba sang, "I felt it the moment I laid eyes on you."

Pacifica sang, "My pulse is rushing..."

Mabelphaba sang, "My head is reeling..."

Pacifica sang, "My face is flushing..."

Both sang, without hearing the other:

"What is this feeling?  
Fervid as a flame,  
Does it have a name?  
Yes...  
Loathing!  
Unadulterated loathing!"

Pacifica sang, "For your face."

Mabelphaba sang, "For your voice."

Pacifica sang, "Your sweater clothing."

Both sang,  
"Let's just say...  
I loathe it all!  
Every little trait however small  
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl  
With simple, utter loathing.  
Yet there is a strange desire  
In such total burning fire.  
It's so pure, so strong!  
Though I do admit I truly hate you  
Still I almost wish that I could date you,  
And I will be loathing, wanting you  
My whole life long!"

Pacifica stopped singing to say, "Ugh!"

Mabelphaba said, "Please not!"

* * *

Later, Pacifica's posse met up with her and sang,

"Dear Pacifica, you are just too good!  
How do you stand it, I don't think I could!  
She's a terror! She's a tartar!  
We don't mean to show a bias,  
But Pacifica, you're a martyr!"

Pacifica sang, "Well, these things are sent to try us."

The posse and other students sang:

"Poor Pacifica forced to reside  
With someone so disgustified.  
We just want to tell you  
We're all on your side!

They chorused about loathing for a while, until Mabelphaba sneaked up behind Pacifica and said, "Boo!"

Pacifica shrieked, "Aah!"


	5. Dr. Gompersmond

Dr. Gompersmond, a talking goat with a short left horn, entered his history class. Pacifica and Mabelphaba were seated among the other students, as far from each other as possible. Dipparose was by his sister.

"Greetings, students," he said. "I have read your essays, and I am pleased to see your progress. Though some tend to favor form over content... Miss Bacifica."

"It's PA-cifica," said Pacifica.

"Pardon me, Baacifica."

"I don't see what the problem is," said Pacifica. "Every other professor can pronounce my name."

Mabelphaba said, "Maybe Doctor Gompersmond isn't like every other professor. Some of us are different. And different is great!"

Pacifica said, "Oooh, the artichoke is steamed."

Gompersmond said, "Mabelphaba has a point, class. As you know, I am the sole Animal on the faculty, the token Goat, so to speak. This secluded valley has always been home to many unusual creatures, including talking animals, and many were allowed to teach here. You could walk down the halls and see an antelope explicating a sonnet, a manotaur discussing manliness, a gremoblin waxing philosophic. But in recent years, Gravity Falls has become a lot less... colorful. It's as if a secret society was trying to wipe out the very memory of the paranormal here."

Pacifica said, "I wish you would just teach us history instead of harping on the past,"

"Those who cannot remember history are condemned to repeat it," said Gompersmond. "But here is a highly enlightening comment."

He flipped over the chalkboard and revealed a scrawled message, accompanied by the drawing of a crossed-out eye, "ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD."

"Who is responsible for this?" asked Gompersmond. "I'm waiting..."

When there was no answer, he dismissed the class early, clearly angry.

"You go on ahead, Dippa," said Mabelphaba.

Dipparose wheeled out of the room.

Mabelphaba went up to the front of the room, and read, "Animals should be seen and not heard. That's terrible. I adore talking to animals – they're so cute. And yes, you can keep nibbling on my sweater," she told Gompersmond.

"Sorry my dear, I'm upset and it made me a bit peckish."

"Here, you can share my lunch," said Mabelphaba. She took out a Mr. Adequate bar, which she ate while Gompersmond ate the wrapper.

Mabelphaba said, "You shouldn't let words bother you. I never do... well, only a little."

Gompersmond said, "Oh, Miss Mabelphaba, if it were only words on a chalkboard. But I've been hearing of dreadful things these days..."

"I've heard of an ox, a follower of Locke's  
No long permitted to teach,  
Who has lost all powers of speech.  
And an owl near the southern border  
A leader in the Royal Order  
Who attended their caucus  
Now he only plays maracas.  
Only rumors, but still, enough cause squalls  
To anyone in stalls  
Something bad is happening in the Falls."

Mabelphaba sang,  
"Something bad?  
Happening in the Falls?"

Gompersmond sang,  
"Under the surface  
Behind the scenes  
Something baaaaah...  
Sorry, bad..."

Dr. Gompersmond, are you all right? Shall I get you some water?" asked Mabelphaba.

"I don't know what came over me," said Gompersmond.

"So, you're saying that there are animals that have, somehow, forgotten how to speak? But, how is that possible?" asked Mabelphaba.

"I don't know," said Gompersmond. "But people are forgetting things, too."

"I have to get to my psionic seminar now with Ms. Morrible," said Mabelphaba, "But I'll find some way to get word to the Psychic. He'll know what to do. That's why we have a Psychic!"

She sang, "So nothing bad."

Both sang, "Nothing all that bad."

Gompersmond sang,

"Nothing truly baaaahhh...  
Sorry... bad."

Mabelphaba sang,  
"It couldn't happen here,  
In the Falls..."


	6. Puppeting Through Life

A handsome blond young man walked up to the Falls Institute steps. On his hands were his two constant puppet companions, Bee and Book. He was lost in thought.

Bee said, "Here we are, Gabero! Fizz Institute."

Gabero said, "What? Already?"

Book said, "Yes. Time to learn."

Gabero said, "Oh well, I won't last longer at this school than I did at any of the others."

Book said, "Because they say you're puppet crazy."

Bee said, "As if you could ever be too crazy about puppets."

"I love you guys," said Gabero, kissing them both. "Mwah! Mwah!"

Pacifica came closer from one side, and Mabelphaba wheeled Dipparose in from the other. Both young women reacted to the handsome guy, but Pacifica moved first.

"Hello, you must be Gabero Bensen, the famous puppeteer," said Pacifica. "I've seen your posters up around town. I'm Pacifica Northwest."

"Hello, Pacifica," said Gabero. "It's nice to be recognized by a fan."

"Are you looking for someone or something?" asked Pacifica.

"Uhhh yea... history... class? I don't know... somewhere?" said Gabero.

"That class just ended," said Pacifica.

"Oh! Perfect timing," said Gabero. "So, what do you do for fun around here?"

"Nothing much..." said Pacifica. "Until now."

Meanwhile, Dippa said to his sister, "Your roommate's very pretty. Do you think maybe I could ask her out? Sometimes it seems like she doesn't even know I'm there."

"She knows, Dippa," said Mabelphaba. "But I'm sure she hates you just like she hates me. And now she's flirting with that handsome Gabero guy..."

Dippa said, "I've got to try, Mabbie."

Gabero said, "There's just one thing I find fascinating. I see that once again the responsibility to convert my fellow students falls to me. Fortunately, I'm up for the task."

Gabero sang,  
"The trouble with schools is  
They always try to teach the wrong lesson  
Believe me, I've been kicked out of enough of them to know!  
They want you to become less callow, less shallow,  
But I say why invite stress in?  
Stop studying strife  
And learn to live  
The puppeteering life...

"Puppeting through life  
I could say puppeteering  
But the meter's endearing when I make it short.  
Socks are painless, soft and brainless  
Making them live, that is my sport  
Puppeting through life  
No need to tough it  
When you can puppet as well as I do.  
With my friends Book and Bee,  
Teaching the kids literacy.  
Puppeting through life,  
Starring on stage,  
And always keeping cool.  
Life's always full of love  
When you're living hand in glove.  
Those who don't try  
Are afraid to look foolish. Not me.  
Puppeting through life  
Artistic and careless  
Make sure you're where less trouble is rife.  
Woes are fleeting  
Blows less disrupt-eting  
when you're puppeting  
through life!"

"So! What's the most swankified place in town?" asked Gabero.

"That would be the Falldust Ballroom," said Pacifica,

Gabero said, "Sounds perfect!  
Let's go down to the Falldust Ballroom  
We'll meet there later tonight  
We'll dance and puppet 'til it's light.  
Find the prettiest girl  
Give her a whirl!  
Right on down to the Falldust Ballroom  
Come on follow me!  
You'll be happy to be there."

Students caught up in the moment sang:  
"Puppeting through life, down at the Falldust."

Gabero sang,"Because it's all dust that we come to!"

The students sang:  
"Nothing matters, but knowing nothing matters  
It's just life!"

Gabero sang, "So keep puppeting through..."

Dipparose said, "I'm going to ask Pacifica to dance at least once with me. I'll wait right there near her, all night."

Mabelphaba said, "Go ahead, it's your funeral. She'll crush you without mercy, and then maybe Gabero will see how cruel she really is and steer clear."

"Giving you a chance?" asked Dipparose. "Doubtful."

"Sure I have a chance, bro. I can appeal to his interests, put on a big puppet show for him," said Mabelphaba.

"I wouldn't if I were you," said Dippa. "He isn't worth it."

"You know what you ought to do?" said Mabelphaba. "Call up Wendoq Corduroy and ask her to the dance. You had such a crush on her when we were working together at the Mystery Shack, before it shut down."

"I'm over Wendoq," said Dippa quickly. "I finally realized she's too old for me."

"Allow me to put on my skepticals," said Mabelphaba, making fake glasses with her fingers.

Pacifica overheard this conversation and thought, "She's right. Rejecting a guy in a wheelchair might make me look bad in front of Gabero. I have to head him off."

She got out her cell phone. "Hello, Wendoq? I have a proposition for you. There's a dance at the Falldust Ballroom tonight, and..."  
You know that tragic nerdy guy Dippa,  
The one in the chair?  
It seems so unfair  
We should go on a spree  
And not he. Gee,  
I know someone would be a hero  
If that someone were  
To get him to invite her!"

Wendoq said, "There's something fishy about this. I like Dippa. I don't want to lead him on and break his heart. He's too young for me."

Pacifica said. "Your heart's too big. It's just for one night. And I'll give you 500 bucks... I know your family is struggling since you lost the job at the Shack."

"I don't like it, but we're desperate for cash right now," said Wendoq. "It's a deal."

A minute later Dippa's cell phone rang. "You heard about the dance?... How did you know?... Pacifica told you?... You'd like to go?... You mean, with me? Wow! I mean, yeah, that's cool."

Gabero said to Pacifica, "You're good. I see a fellow puppeteer."

Pacifica said, "I don't know what you mean. But I do happen to be free tonight, so..."

Gabero said, "So, I'll be picking you up around eight?"

Pacifica sang "After all... Now that we've met one another."

Gabero sang along with her, "It's clear we deserve each other!"

Pacifica said, "You're perfect."

Gabero said, "You're perfect."

Both sang,  
"So we're perfect together  
Born to be forever  
Puppeting through life!"

Everyone wandered off except Mabelphaba and Dipparose.

Mabelphaba said to her brother, "So everyone's off to worship this guy at a cultish social gathering."

"I'm going, too!" said Dippa. "It's so great! Wendoq wouldn't have even known about the dance, but Pacifica called and encouraged her."

"Pacifica?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Don't you dare say another word against her! I'm about to have the first real date of my life, thanks to Pacifica."

Dippa sang,  
"Finally for this one night,  
I'm about to have a fun night  
With my old sweetheart that Pacifica called for me,  
And I only wish there were  
Something I could do for her to repay her  
Mabelphaba see...  
We deserve each other and Pacifica helped it come true.  
We deserve each other, me and Wendoq."

"Please, Mabelphaba, try to understand."

"I do."

* * *

Later, Pacifica was preparing for her date in her suite, with the help of her posse girls Shen Shen and Pfanee. Mabelphaba was off on her side of the room, studying a book on puppets.

"I must accessorize myself for Gabero," said Pacifica.

Shen Shen pulled a black peaked hat out of one of Pacifica's hat boxes. "Pacifica, what in the world is this?"

Pacifica said, "Just pretend you didn't see that. My granny is always giving me the most hideodeous hats. I'd give it away, but I don't hate anyone that much."

Shen Shen said, "Yes you do!" and nodded toward Mabelphaba.

Pfanee said, "Give it to her! Just do it!"

Pacifica walked over to Mabelphaba's side of the room.

"Pacifica, listen," said Mabelphaba. "Dippa and I were just talking about you."

Pacifica said, "And I was just talking about you! I thought you might want to wear this hat to the party tonight."  
It's really... uh... sharp!  
Don't you think?  
You know black is this year's hot pink!  
You deserve each other,  
This hat and you,  
You're both so... smart!  
You deserve each other, so here!  
Out of the goodness of my heart!

Mabelphaba giggled and took it. "Pacifica, you have a silly streak like me after all. I'm touched. Of course I'll wear the hat!"

* * *

Later, Dipparose and Wendoq were together at the dance.

"What's in the punch?" asked Dippa.

Wendoq said, "Lemons, and melons, and pears!"

Dippa said, "Oh my!"

Wendoq sang, "Listen Dippa..."

Dipparose said, "Yes?"

Wendoq sang,  
"Uh, Dippa...  
I've got something to confess, the  
Reason why, well, why I asked you here tonight...  
Now, I know it isn't fair.

Dippa said, "Oh Wendoq, I know why."

Wendoq said, "You do?"

"It's because I'm in this chair, and you felt sorry for me...  
Well, isn't that right?"

"No... it's because... uh... because...  
Because you are such a cool, handsome guy!"

"Oh, Wendoq!  
I think you're wonderful!  
And we deserve each other, don't you see this is our chance?  
We deserve each other, don't we Wendoq?"

"You know what? Let's dance!" said Wendoq.

"What?" said Dippa.

"Let's dance!" sang Wendoq.

Ms. Morrible ran up to Pacifica. "Miss Northwest?"

"Ms. Morrible, what are you doing here?" asked Pacifica.

"I have something for you," said Morrible. She handed Pacifica a small wand.

"A training wand..." said Pacifica. "Oh, thank you..."

"Don't thank me, girl," said Morrible. "It was your roommate's idea."

"Mabelphaba?" asked Pacifica.

"She requested I include you in the seminar, or she would quit. I told her she was cray-cray but she wouldn't listen."

"But... why?"

"I have no idea. My personal opinion is you do not have what it takes. I hope you'll prove me wrong... I doubt you will."

Gabero came up to Pacifica. "What is it?"

"I got what I wanted..." said Pacifica.

"Then what's the matter?" said Gabero.

"Nothing," said Pacifica.

"Good, then let's dance," said Gabero.

Mabelphaba walked in, wearing the black peaked hat and a boom-box sweater. People gasped and laughed. There was no music, so she pushed a button on the sweater and the boom-box lit up and began to play. She started dancing by herself.

"Who is that?" asked Gabero.

"My roommate... please don't stare!" said Pacifica.

"How can I help it?" asked Gabero. "I'll say one thing, she doesn't care a twig about what anyone else thinks."

"Of course she does, but she pretends not to," said Pacifica. "I feel awful."

"Why? It's not your fault," said Gabero.

Pacifica walked over to Mabelphaba and said, "Excuse me. May I cut in?"

Mabelphaba sang softy to her own music, "Boys are a bore, let's show them the door. We're taking over the dance floor."

As Pacifica danced with Mabelphaba, the laughing stopped and everyone started dancing again.

All sang,  
"Puppeting through life, down at the Falldust  
Because it's all dust that we come to.  
And the strange thing, your life could end up changing  
While you're puppeting through."


	7. Makeover Buddies

Mabelphaba and Pacifica came back to their suite in the wee hours of the morning. Both were laughing together.

Pacifica said, "Was that really your first party?"

Mabelphaba said, "No, I'm a party girl, really. It's just the first time anyone ever danced with me."

"Let's tell each other a secret. I was going marry Gabero," said Pacifica.

"He asked you already?" Mabelphaba said.

"No, and now I've changed my mind. He only cares about puppets, and he never takes them off, even when..." said Pacifica.

"Oh my. I was interested in him a little, too, but I think I dodged a bullet there," said Mabelphaba.

"I took one for you," said Pacifica. "Now you tell me a secret."

"Like what?"

"Like why do you always sleep with this funny little green bottle under your pillow?"

"Give that back!"

"Come on, tell me."

"It belonged to my mother, that's all."

"What about another secret? It's no fair, I told you a good one."

"My parents hate my brother and I," said Mabelphaba.

Pacifica gasped. "Why?"

"For coming out wrong, I guess. Me green, and Dippa unable to walk. They send us away from home at every opportunity and hardly check on us at all."

Pacifica said, "That's not your fault."

"I know it's not," said Mabelphaba. "It hurts, but I put up a brave front and laugh it off."

Pacifica said, "Now that we're friends, may I call you Mabelphie?"

"It's a little perky, but I love perky. Sure you can."

"And you can call me... Pacifica. I'm going to make you my new project and give you a makeover."

"Woop woop!" said Mabelphaba, "I've always wanted a makeover buddy."

Pacifica sang:

"Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I  
And let's face it... Who isn't  
less fortunate than I?  
I mock them, but this time I'll try...  
And since I see you need a makeover  
I simply have to take over  
I know  
Exactly what you need  
And even in your case...  
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face!  
Don't worry! I'm determined to succeed.  
Follow my lead  
And yes indeed  
You will be...  
Superior!  
You're gonna be superior  
I'll teach to be really grand  
When you take command  
Little ways to boss the guys around  
I'll show you what shoes to wear,  
How to fix your hair,  
Everything that really counts to be superior.  
I'll help you be superior.  
You'll hang with the right cohorts  
You'll be good at sports  
Instead of silly who you were...  
Well are...  
There's nothing that can stop you  
From becoming suprier...  
Or!  
La la la la  
We're gonna make you superior!  
Like me!

Mabelphaba said, "This is never going to work! I can't be you, I'm silly in my own way."

Pacifica said, "Oh Mabelphie, you mustn't think that way anymore! Your whole life is going to change... and all because of me. Okay, stand... I will turn your frock into a beautiful ball gown! Stand up..."

She waved her new training wand, but nothing happened.

"Ball gown! Ball gown! Is this thing on? Oh, forget it. Just wear what you've got, it's good enough. But not all those silly sweaters."

"I love my sweaters."

"Lose them. And work on body language, like flipping your hair. You've got a good thick head of hair to flip. Like this: flip flip."

Mabelphaba tried it, not very successfully.

"It takes practice. Now the finishing touch," said Pacifica. She took a pink artificial flower from her wardrobe and put it in Mabelphaba's hair. "Pink goes good with green. Why, Mabelphie, look at you."

She showed Mabelphaba what she looked like in the mirror, and moved close.

"You're beautiful... I could kiss you," said Pacifica.

Mabelphaba looked into her eyes and the temperature seemed to rise between them. "Pacifica... I like boys... I think."

"Do you really know? Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Pacifica asked softly.

"No... you?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Not really," said Pacifica. "Like you sang tonight... 'Boys are a bore. Let's show them the door'."

"We've just started to be friends. Let's work on that for a while first," said Mabelphaba. "I... I have to go."

Mabelphaba ran from the room.

"You're welcome!" called Pacifica after her.  
"And though you protest  
Your disinterest,  
I know clandestinely...  
You're gonna grin and bear it,  
Our new life, romantically.  
La la la la  
And you'll be superior!  
Just not quite as superior  
As me!


	8. The Replacement Professor's Game

The students entered Dr. Gompermond's class. Mabelphaba was conservatively dressed, in a plain skirt and blouse, without a silly sweater.

Mabelphaba flipped her hair and said, "What?"

"Nothing," said Gabero. "It's just... you've been 'Pacifica-fied'. You don't have to do that, you know?"

"All right, take your seats, class!" said Gompersmond. "I have something to say, and very little time to say it. This is my last day here at the Fizz. I am no longer permitted to teach. I want to thank you for your sharing your enthusiasm, your essays, and even, on occasion, your lunch."

Ms. Morrible rushed in and said, "Doctor Gompersmond! I'm so dreadfully sorry."

"We've got to do something," said Mabelphaba.

Two men came in and carried Dr. Gompersmond out. "Come on, goat..."

Gompersmond said, "Miss Mabelphaba, they can take away my job, but I shall continue speaking out. They are not telling you the whole story! Remember that, class! The truth is out there."

"Well?" said Mabelphaba. "What are we going to do about this?"

Morrible said, "There is nothing we can do. Please take your seat."

A man they had never seen before entered the room. He had gray hair and a mustache, and he wore a straw hat.

In a country accent, he said, "Howdy, students."

"Good afternoon," said Ms. Morrible. "I'll leave you to your students now."

"I'm the replacement teacher, Professor Sprott. I was once a farmer, and though I may not know much about history, I know about the proper place of animals. I got somethin' to show you all, a little game to get our class started today."

He pulled a cloth off of a cage, revealing a small pig inside.

"If'n you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home!" Sprott said.

Mabelphaba stared at the pig, her eyes wide with adoration.

"Sir, I must have that pig!" she called out.

"All right, Miss," said Sprott. "You may take the first guess. How much do you reckon ol' Fifteen-Poundy weighs?"

"Fifteen pounds?" said Mabelphaba.

"Are you some kind of witch?" asked Sprott. "You win the pig."

"As a matter of fact, I am a witch," said Mabelphaba, coming forward.

"A wicked witch!" cried Sprott, backing away.

"More of a wacky witch," said Mabelphaba.

"A wacky witch is even worse," said Sprott. "I'd better go round up a mob."

"Not until I get my pig," said Mabelphaba.

She concentrated her psionic powers, and everyone in the room began to move uncontrollably. She unlocked the cage and scooped up the pig.

"Good for you!" Gabero called out.

Mabelphaba smiled and released him from her control. They both ran from the class, with Mabelphaba carrying the pig in her arms.

"How did you do that, Mabelphaba?" Gabero asked.

"It happens sometimes when I get mad," said Mabelphaba.

The pig made a sound.

"Did you hear that?" Mabelphaba asked Gabero. "It sounded like he said my name. Did you say Mabelphaba or doorbell-phaba?"

"Mabelphaba," said the pig, "I had almost forgotten my powers of speech in that cage, but fortunately I am more intelligent than they thought."

"Oooh, a talking Pig," said Mabelphaba. "May I call you Waddles?"

"I have a real name, but... since you rescued me you may call me what you like. Sprott expected whoever won me would eat me. I hope you aren't planning on that?"

"How could you think that? I love you and would never hurt you," said Mabelphaba.

"I'm glad, and sorry to have suspected you. I'm a bit of a cowardly pig, I'm sorry to say. I can't help it; I'm potentially delicious."

"Waddles, I want you to stay with me in my room here," said Mabelphaba.

"I can't stay here. They will be hunting for me, so I have to go into hiding," said Waddles.

Mabelphaba sighed. "I guess you're right. You can go to 32 Chambot Drive for now. Tell a guy named Soos there that I told him to hide you."

Waddles said, "I should really get out of town."

"I expect to get an appointment to see the Psychic soon," said Mabelphaba. "Once I see him, I'll find out who's behind the animal persecution and put a stop to it. Then I'll send for you and we can be together forever. I'll give you tummy rubs every day."

"I'd like that," said Waddles. "And I hope you can find out what's going on."

Mabelphaba asked, "Gabero, would you help get Waddles to safety?"

"I'd be happy to," said Gabero. "I loved the way you made everyone move. You're a true puppeteer. Would you like to join me for a biscotti some time?"

"I'll have to think about it," said Mabelphaba. "Though I would like a ride in a Biscotti..."

After Gabero left with Waddles, Mabelphaba thought about Gabero and sang to herself:

"His hands touch  
Puppets.  
They're his friends,  
They're his pets.  
His heart's theirs in a total lock  
He could be that boy  
But I'm not that sock.  
Don't dream too far.  
Don't lose sight of  
Who you are.  
Don't remember that rush of joy.  
He could be that boy  
But I'm not that sock.

"Every so often  
We long to steal  
To the land of 'what-might-have-been'  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in.  
Wide mouth, stitched face  
They are winsome, they get first place.  
Gold Bee and purple Book  
They're one ones he chose  
And heaven knows  
I'm not that sock.  
Don't wish,  
Don't start.  
Wishing only wounds the heart.  
I wasn't born of puppet stock.  
There are socks I know;  
He loves then so.  
I'm not that sock..."

Ms. Morrible came up. "Oh, there you are. I finally heard back from the Psychic!"

Mabelphaba said, "Oh, good!"

Morrible handed her a green envelope. "Here are your tickets for a free day at Gideonland, a single room for the night at the Gideonland Hotel, and an appointment with the Psychic first thing tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, thank you!" said Mabelphaba. "This is just what I was hoping for."

"It's a bit rainy today, but I'll make it sunny for you," said Morrible. "Weather's my specialty."

"You're so nice," said Mabelphaba.

"Make me proud," said Morrible.

"I will," said Mabelphaba.

After Ms. Morrible left, Mabelphaba sang:

"And there we'll finally be  
The Psychic and I..."


	9. One Short Day in Gideonland

Mabelphaba was ready to board the bus that would take her to Gideonland. Pacifica, Dipparose, and Wendoq were there at the bus stop to see her off.

Pacifica said, "Remember, eye contact. And don't forget to tell him how wonderful he is. Pyschics love that! And be yourself... well... within reason."

"Mabelphaba, I'm so proud of you," said Dipparose. "Knock him dead."

"You'll be all right, won't you, Dippa?" Mabelphaba asked. "I'm not going very far. It's the new location, in the center of Gravity Falls, not the abandoned site on the west side of town where the Mystery Shack used to be."

"He'll be fine," Pacifica said, "Wendoq will take care of him, right?"

Wendoq said, "I... I can't do this anymore."

She ran off.

Dipparose called after her, "Wendoq..."

Mabelphaba said, "Dippa, she may not be the right one for you."

"No," said Dipparose. "It's me that's not right. Just go, Mabbie. I'll be fine."

He wheeled himself away.

"Dippa, wait!" said Mabelphaba.

"Let him go," said Pacifica. "He'll have to manage without you. We all will."

Mabelphaba said, "I knew it'll be hard to manage without my bouncy cheer, but try."

Gabero skated up. "Hi Mabelphaba. My puppets and I are happy for you."

Bee said, "Have some of my favorite flowers."

Book handed her the flowers held in its page mouth.

Gabero said, "I've been thinking a lot about how we freed that pig together."

"So have I," said Mabelphaba, with a sigh.

"I want to learn that trick from you, how you make things move with your mind," said Gabero. "It would help me put on more realistic puppet shows."

"Oh," said Mabelphaba. "Maybe when I get back..."

"All right," said Gabero. "Ta ta for now, and break a leg with the Psychic."

He skated away on his rollerblades.

Mabelphaba sighed, "I see what you mean about puppet-crazy."

Pacifica said, "Sock puppets are all he thinks about."

"I'm not that sock," said Mabelphaba. "So... I want to give us a try. Come with me."

"Where?" asked Pacifica.

"To Gideonland," said Mabelphaba. "It's a date."

"Really?" asked Pacifica. She jumped on the bus with Mabelphaba and a load of tourists.

Mabelphaba sang:  
"One short day, in Gideonland Park..."

Pacifica said, "I've always wanted to see Gideonland Park! My parents told me it was too plebeian for a Northwest."

Mabel said, "It's time a Northwest learned how much fun it is to be a play being, like me."

The tourists sang:  
"One short day, in Gideonland park!  
One short day, in Gideonland park.  
One short day, full of so much to do.  
Every way that you look at the park  
There's something exquisite  
You'll want to visit  
Before the day's through."

On arrival at the amusement park, they ran all over the place.

Mabelphaba sang: "There's a robot as tall as redwood trees."

Pacifica sang: "Dress salons!"

Mabelphaba sang: "Cotton candies."

Pacifica sang: "Gideon pins!"

Mabelphaba sang: "Tilt-and-spins!"

Both girls sang: "A hundred strong  
There are wonders like I've never seen!"

Mabelphaba sang: "It's all grand!"

Pacifica sang: "And it's all clean!"

Both sang: "I think we've found the place where we belong.  
I wanna be in this hoi polloi."

Mabelphaba sang: "So I'll be back for good some day."

Pacifica sang: "To make my life and make my way."

Both sang: "But for today we'll wander and enjoy!"

Tourists sang:  
"One short day  
In Gideonland park  
One short day  
To have a lifetime of fun  
One short day..."

Both of the girls sang:  
"And we're warning the park  
Now that we're in here  
You'll know we've been here  
Before we are done!"

Pacifica said, "All the hustle and bustle! Mabelphie... Mabelphie? C'mon we'll be late for the GideoMania show."

Mabelphaba said, "I want to remember this moment, always. Nobody's pointing, nobody's staring, for the first time, I'm somewhere that I belong."

Pacifica said, "You look positively radiant."

At the GideoMania musical show, the chorus sang:  
"Who's the mage  
Who's major itinerary is  
Making all of us merrier?  
Who's the sage  
Who sagely  
Sailed in to save our posteriors?  
Who's enthuse about ice-cream spooning  
Has all of us honeymooning?  
Oooooo  
Isn't he wonderful?  
Our wonderful Psychic?"

Both girls sang: "One short day in Gideonland park."

The chorus sang: "Who's the mage who's major itinerary is making all of us merrier?"

Both girls sang: "One short day to have a lifetime of fun."

The chorus sang: "Who's the sage who sagely sailed into save our posteriors?"

All sang: "What a way to be seeing the park!"

Both girls sang:  
"Where so many roam to...  
We'll call it home, too.  
And then just like now we can say,  
'We're just two friends,'

Mabelphaba sang: "Two best friends..."

Pacifica sang: "More than friends..."

Everyone sang: "Sharing one wonderful  
One short...  
Day!

Pacifica said, "We had better turn in early tonight. We need a good night's sleep to be ready to meet the Psychic in the morning."

Mabelphaba said, "I wouldn't count on getting much sleep. I booked just a single room..."

"That's no problem. We've been sharing a room at school, after all," said Pacifica.

"With a single bed," said Mabelphaba.

"Oh, Mabelphaba!"

"You could back out and get a room of your own," said Mabelphaba.

"No, I'll stay with you," said Pacifica softly.

She gave Mabelphaba a hug.

Mabelphaba said, "For the first time in my life, I feel wicked."


	10. A Sentimental Guy

Mabelphaba and Pacifica approached the audience room of Li'l Gideon, the Psychic of Gravity Falls.

"Mabelphie, I wish you hadn't put on that brown sweater with a smiling llama on it," said Pacifica.

"You told me to be myself," said Mabelphaba.

"But not too much yourself," said Pacifica. "It doesn't go with your black dress and peaked hat. At least I made you take the bezazzles off your face."

"I'm so happy after last night. I want to knit you a llama sweater, too," said Mabelphaba. "We should be sweater-mates. But I'll make yours facing the other way and without the smile, if you like."

"We'll talk about it later," said Pacifica. "Here we are."

Inside, a gigantic metal head with a Pompadour hairstyle clanged its jaws and said in a loud voice, "I am Gideon, the great and terrible! Who are you and why do you seek me?"

"Say something," said Pacifica.

"Umm... I'm Mabelphaba Pines, your Terribleness!"

The mouth of the head opened and a short young man came out. He was dressed in a blue suit and had tall white hair in the same style as the head.

"Dearie me, is that you, Mabelphaba? I didn't realize," said Gideon in a southern drawl. "Ah hope that ah didn't startle you. It's hard to make out peoples faces all the way back in there."

Gideon walked up to Mabelphaba and shook her hand. He turned toward Pacifica and said, "And you must be..."

"Pacifica. Pacifica Northwest."

Mabelphaba gave the metal mask a closer look.

"Ah know. It isn't much, is it? But people expect that sort of thing from l'il ol me. Ah have to give them what they want. Ah hardly ever let people meet the real me any more, but this is a special occasion."

"I'm happy to meet you," said Mabelphaba.

"So am Ah," said Gideon. "Ah would really like to make you happy."

"Ah am a sentimental guy  
Who always longed to be a lover.  
Ah always do the best Ah can  
To treat each Gravity Faller as sister  
or brother.  
So Mabelphaba, Ah'd like to raise you high  
'Cuz Ah think everyone deserves the chance to fly!  
And helping you with your ascent  
Ah hope will win me your consent.  
For Ah am  
A sentimental guy!"

"Umm, that's nice, but... I'm here... we're here to alert you that something bad is happening..." said Mabelphaba.

"Please, I'm psychic. I already know why you've come," said Gideon.

Mabelphaba gave an "Oooo" over this.

Gideon said, "Of course, you must prove yourself..."

"Go on, prove yourself, prove yourself," said Pacifica nervously.

Mabelphaba asked, "But how?"

Gideon sang:

"Oh, Ah don't know.  
Some sort of gesture  
Mostly for show  
Something to test your adeptness..."

"Ah know! Ms. Morrible, the Journal!"

Ms. Morrible entered carrying a burgundy book with a six-fingered hand on its cover, marked with the number "2."

"Ms. Morrible..." said Pacifica.

"Ah believe you're well acquainted with mah new Press Secretary," said Gideon.

Mabelphaba said, "Press Secretary?"

"Oh yes, my dears, I've risen up in the world," said Morrible. "You'll find that the Psychic is a very generous man. If you do something for him, he'll do something for you."

"What do you want me to do?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Ah have a servant Ah call Mystery, because he used to call himself Mr. Mystery," said Gideon. "There's something Ah want you to do for him. Mystery, come in here."

A stooped old man entered, limping and using a cane with an eight-ball on top.

"Grunkle Stan!" said Mabelphaba. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"Oh, that's right. Ah almost forgot he was a relative of yours. Ah don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet. He's been working for me, paying off a debt," said Gideon.

"Are you all right, Grunkle Stan?" asked Mabelphaba.

"I'm fine. I've been in worse situations, like that time in Columbia. Come to think of it, I'm not sure Columbia was worse. But I'm getting by," said Stan.

"Ah've got an offer for you, Mystery. If you participate in a levitation experiment with your great-niece here, Ah'll forgive your debt and you'll be free as a bird," said Gideon.

"Are you all right with that, Grunkle Stan?" asked Mabelphaba.

"I've got nothing to lose," said Stan.

"This book is the second of two journals. Someday Ah hope to find the other one and unite them to gain ultimate power," said Gideon.

Morrible handed the book to Mabelphaba. "It' s a book of mysteries and spells."

"May I touch it?" Pacifica whispered.

"No," Morrible whispered back.

"There's lots of funny writing in here," said Mabelphaba.

"There are secret codes in it," said Morrible. "The lost language of spells."

"It's a kind of recipe book for change," said Gideon.

"Don't be discouraged if you can't decipher it, girl," said Morrible. "It may take years and years."

Mabelphaba chanted: "Ahven, tatey, aven tatey aven..."

Gideon said, in a sinister whisper, "Oh, Mystery, what a experience you are about to have!"

Mabelphaba continued to chant, as Gideon sang:  
"Since once Ah had my own day as a star...  
Ah know everyone deserves the chance to fly far!"

Stan Pines dropped to the floor and began to twitch.

Mabelphaba asked, "Grunkle Stan, what's happening? Is something wrong?"

"Just a transition, girl," said Morrible.

"No, stop, you're hurting him!" said Mabelphaba.

"She's actually done it!" said Gideon.

Batlike wings popped out from Stan's back. He gave a moaning grunt, but now seemed to be incapable of speech.

"NO!" said Mabelphaba. "Quick, how do I reverse it?"

"You can't!" said Morrible. "Don't talk cray-cray."

"What?!" said Mabelphaba.

"Spells are irreversible in this world. I knew she had the power, I told you!" said Morrible.

"You planned all this?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Well, you benefit too, girl! You benefit, too," said Morrible.

"And this is only the beginning!" said Gideon. "Ah found a copy machine in the old Mystery Shack that can make copies of people. Ah had copies of Stan on hand, just in case it worked."

He pulled back a curtain, revealing a whole group of Stans behind bars, each with a number instead of a symbol on his fez. All of them had also grown wings.

Mabelphaba gasped in horror.

"In honor of you, Ah will call them the Winged Grunkles," said Gideon.

"Won't they make perfect spies?" asked Morrible.

Mabelphaba said, "Spies?!"

Gideon said, "You're right, that's a harsh word... how about scouts? People so often forget to put on my Li'l Gideon pins, with their built-in cameras. These guys can fly all over Gravity Falls. They can report any subversive Animal activity, too."

"It's you!" said Mabelphaba. "You're behind the animal persecution."

"Nothing brings people together like a common enemy," said Gideon.

"You can't read the spells in here at all! Can you? That's why you need enemies, and pins, and spies. You have no real psychic powers," said Mabelphaba.

"Exactly..." said Gideon. "That's why Ah need you. Don't you see? The world is your oyster, now! You have so many...opportunities. You both do."

"Thank you, your Gideonship," said Pacifica.

Gideon sang:  
"Since once Ah had my own day as a star  
Ah know everyone deserves the chance to..."

Mabelphaba cried, "NO!"

She ran off, clutching the journal.

"Mabelphaba!" called Morrible.

"Mabelphie!" said Pacifica. I am so sorry, your Gideonship. I'll fetch her back! Mabelphie, wait!"

She started to run after Mabelphaba, but Gideon touched a green amulet on a bolo tie around his neck and lifted her from the ground.

"A word before you go, Miss Northwest. My spies tell me you spent last night together in a single hotel room. Ah have a mind to make Mabelphaba my queen, and Ah'll crush anyone who comes between us. Please tell me nothing happened."

"N-nothing happened, your Terribleness" said Pacifica in terror. When Gideon dropped her, she turned and ran after Mabelphaba.

Gideon said to Morrible, "We must get her back. She knows too much."

Morrible said, "Don't worry. I'll handle it."

Gideon got back in the metal head and spoke in a terrible voice, "Guards, guards! There is a fugitive loose in the palace! Find her, capture her, and bring her to me!"

His thuggish guards responded, "Yes, your Psychic-ness!"


	11. Defying

Pacifica ran and caught up to Mabelphaba, who had reached the top floor of the building and was looking around wildly, not sure where to go.

"Mabelphie, wait! Where are you going?" said Pacifica.

"There are no more stairs! This might be the attic..." said Mabelphaba.

"Please listen to me," said Pacifica.

"I have to barricade the door!" said Mabelphaba.

She locked the attic trapdoor, and for good measure she picked up an old broom and slid it through the handle of the door to block it.

"Mabelphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once instead of flying off the handle?" asked Pacifica.

Pacifica sang:  
"I hope you're happy.  
I hope you're happy now.  
I hope you're happy how you've wrecked your life forever.  
I hope you think you're clever."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"I hope you're happy! I hope you're happy too.  
I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission.  
To keep your own position."

Both sang:  
"So though I can't imagine how,  
I hope you're happy  
Right now..."

The amplified voice of Ms. Morrible echoed around them from speakers mounted on the outside walls of Gideon's palace, making a public announcement: "Citizens of Gravity Falls, there is an insane young woman who must be found and captured. Believe nothing she says. She's cray-cray. She used her mental powers to disrupt a class at my school yesterday, and she stole an Animal they were studying. She used evil magic to replicate and mutilate a poor innocent man, her own great-uncle. Her green skin is but a manifestation of her twisted mind. She now calls herself... the Wacky Witch!"

Pacifica said, "Don't be afraid..."

"I'm not... it's Gideon who should be afraid... of me!" said Mabelphaba.

Pacifica said, "Mabelphie, just say you're sorry before it's too late."

Pacifica sang:  
"You can still be with the Psychic,  
What you've worked and waited for  
You can have all you ever wanted..."

Mabelphaba said, "I know..."

She sang:  
"But I don't want it.  
No... I can't want it  
Anymore...  
Something has changed within me  
Something is not the same.  
I'm through with playing by the rules  
Of someone else's game!  
Too late for second guessing,  
Too late to go back to sleep,  
It's time to trust my instincts  
Close my eyes...  
And leap.

It's time to try defying Gravity  
Falls, with its secrets and depravity  
And they can't pull me down."

Pacifica sang:  
"Can't I make you understand  
you're having delusions of grandeur?"

Mabelphaba:  
"I'm through accepting limits  
'Cuz someone says they're so.  
Some things I cannot change,  
But 'til I try I'll never know!  
I cannot be afraid of  
Losing your love; I guess I've lost.  
Well if that's your love,  
It comes at much too high a cost!  
I'd sooner buy defying Gravity  
Falls, so I can't be meek and rabbity.  
I wanna save this town!"

Gideon's thugs started banging on the locked door. "Open up, in the name of the Psychic!"

Mabelphaba chanted, "Ah May Ah Tay Ah Tum Ditum..."

"What are you doing?" Pacifica said. "You can't mutilate yourself with that hideous levitation spell!"

Mabelphaba stopped chanting.

"Well, where are your wings?" Pacifica asked. "I'm glad that didn't work."

Mabelphaba put out an arm, and the broom flew across the room and snapped right into her hand.

Mabelphaba said, "Woop woop! I did it! Now quick, get on."

"What?" Pacifica said.

"Come with me... think of what we could do... plus, we'll be together," said Mabelphaba.

Mabelphaba sang:  
"Unlimited, together we're unlimited.  
Together we'll be the greatest team there's ever been, Pacifica.  
Dreams the way we planned 'em."

Pacifica sang:  
"If we work in tandem."

Both sang:  
"Just you and I defying Gravity  
Falls, whose heart is empty like a cavity."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"And they can't bring us down."

"Well, are you coming?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Mabelphie, I'm afraid," said Pacifica. "Gideon has an amulet with real power. He can move things with his mind."

"So can I," said Mabelphaba. "I'll protect you."

"You can't protect my reputation," said Pacifica. "I'll lose everything if I go with you. Not being popular and superior any more... I can't face it."

Mabelphaba turned away from her, getting on the broom.

"Mabelphie, you're trembling... here, put this around you..." said Pacifica, draping a black cape around her.

Pacifica sang:  
"I hope you're happy  
Now that you're choosing this."

Mabelphaba sang:

"You too, I hope it brings you bliss."

Both sang:  
"I really hope you get it  
And you don't live to regret it.  
I hope you're happy in the end!  
I hope you're happy...  
My friend..."

Mabelphaba opened a window and flew out on the broomstick, just as the guards finally broke down the door and rushed it.

"There she is! Don't let her get away!" said the guard with the "Head" and "Chin" tattoos on his head and chin.

They grabbed hold of Pacifica.

Pacifica yelled, "Let go of me! Do you hear me? Let go! I'm a Northwest!"

Mabelphaba flew outside the window and yelled in to them, "She's not the one you want. She has nothing to do with this. It's all me! Up here! It's me!"

She giggled wildly, and sang:  
"So if you care to find me,  
Look to the western sky  
As someone told me lately,  
Everyone deserves the chance to fly!  
And if I'm flying solo,  
At least I'm flying free!  
To those who'd ground me,  
Take a message back from me!  
Tell them how I'm defying Gravity  
Falls, and I will not stop to have a tea  
With Gideon, that little clown.  
And nobody  
In all of the Falls...  
No so-called psychic has the balls  
To ever, ever bring  
Me down!"

The Gravity Fall citizens sang:  
"Look at her, she's wacky!  
Get her!"

Mabelphaba sang: "Bring me down!"

The citizens sang: "No one mourns the wacky! So we've got to bring her..."

Mabelphaba yelled as she flew away: "Yaaaaaah!"

The citizens sang: "Down!"


	12. Couldn't Be Happier

Pacifica walked alongside Gabero.

"Ready for the big press conference and party?" Pacifica asked.

"I suppose," Gabero said. "I don't have to say much, right? And neither do Bee and Book?"

"Just don't contradict me when I say you're my fiancée," said Pacifica. "I need a beard to keep myself out of trouble with the Psychic. He threatened me, if I ever come between him and Mabelphaba."

"A beard? What do you mean by that?" asked Gabero.

"Did I say beard? I mean bard, a person who can express himself poetically with puppets."

"No problem. I'm puppeting through life. The only reason I took this guard job was in hopes of catching up with Mabelphaba and learning her secret of moving things with her mind, in order to give better puppet shows."

"We're both getting something out of this, so don't blow it," said Pacifica.

They entered the town hall, which was packed with concerned citizens and the press.

The concerned citizens sang:  
"Every day more wacky.  
Every day the terror grows.  
All of us are ever on alert  
That's the way with the wacky-  
Spreading pranks where e'er she goes  
Seeking out new victims she can hurt!"

Lazy Susan sang:  
"Like some terrible green buzzard  
Throughout the town she flies..."

Toby Determined sang:  
"Defaming our poor Psychic"

The concerned citizens sang:  
"With her calumnies and lies.  
She lies!  
Save us from the wacky one.  
Shield us so we won't be hexed.  
Give us warning  
Where will she strike next...  
Where will she strike next...  
Where will she strike next?"

Pacifica, Gabero, and Ms. Morrible appeared on the platform.

Pacifica said, "Fellow Gravity Fallers, as terrifying as terror is, let us put aside our panic for this one day... and celebrate!

She sang, "Oh what a celebration we'll have today!"

The citizens sang, "Thank goodness!"

Pacifica sang, "Let's have a celebration the Pacifica way!"

"Thank goodness!"

Morrible sang, "Finally a day that's totally Wacky Witch free."

All sang,"We couldn't be happier. Thank goodness!"

Morrible said, "And thank goodness for you, Pacifica, and your handsome friend, our new Captain of the Guard." To Gabero she added, "Now you've been at the forefront of the hunt for the Wacky Witch, haven't you?"

Gabero said, "Not really, and I don't like to think of her as a Wacky Witch."

Morrible asked, "How does it feel?"

"Frustrating..." said Gabero, "But I became Captain of the Guard to find her, and I will keep looking!"

"No, being engaged," said Morrible.

The citizens shouted their congratulations.

Gabero said, "This is an engagement party?"

"Surprised?" asked Pacifica, annoyed that Gabero seemed to be forgetting his part already.

"Yes!" said Gabero.

"Good... we hoped you would be... the Psychic and I," said Pacifica.

Pacifica sang:  
"We couldn't be happier.  
Right, dear?  
Couldn't be happier  
Right here.  
Look what we've got,  
A fairy tale plot  
Our very own happy ending  
Where we couldn't be happier.  
True, dear?  
Couldn't be happier.  
And we're happy to share our ending vicariously  
with all of you!  
He couldn't look handsomer.  
I couldn't be humbler.  
Because happy is what happens  
When all your dreams come true.

Morrible said, "And Pacifica, dear, we're happy for you! As Press Secretary, I have striven to ensure that all of Gravity Falls knows the story of your braverism! How vividly I remember..."

Morrible sang:  
"The day you were first summoned  
To an audience with Gideon,  
And although he would not tell you why initially  
When you bowed before his throne  
He decreed you'd hence be known  
As Pacifica the Perfect  
Officially!"

"That's not how you described it to me," said Gabero.

"Oh no, not exactly, but..." Pacifica added in a whisper, "We'll talk about it later."

Morrible sang:  
"Then with a jealous squee  
The Wacky Witch burst from concealment  
Where she had been lurking  
Surreptitially!"

The crowd gasped, and rumors flew in song:  
"I hear she drinks a magic juice to keep herself awake!  
I hear that she can shed her sweaters as easily as a snake!  
I hear some rebel Animals are giving her food and shelter!  
I hear her soul is so unclean, pure water can melt her!"

"What?" said Gabero.

"Melt her! Please somebody go and melt her!" sang the crowd.

"Do you hear that?!" said Gabero. "Water will melt her? People are so empty-headed they'll believe anything!"

"Excuse me just a second!" said Pacifica, and pulled Gabero away from the microphones for a quick private chat.

"I can't just stand here grinning, pretending to go along with all of this!" said Gabero.

Pacifica said, "Do you think I like to hear them say those awful things about Mabelphie? I hate it!"

"Then what are we doing here?" said Gabero. "Let's get out of here!"

"We can't leave now, not when people are looking to us to raise their spirits," said Pacifica.

"You can't leave, because you can't resist being the center of attention," said Gabero. "And that is the truth."

"Maybe I can't," said Pacifica. "Is that so wrong? Who could?"

"You know who could," said Gabero. "Who has."

"Gabero, I miss her too, but we can't just stop living. No one has searched harder for her than you. But don't you see? She doesn't want to be found. We have to face it."

"You're right. I'm sorry, you're right," said Gabero. "But for now, carry on without me."

He ran off.

"Gabero! Thanks plenty, dearest!" said Pacifica. "He's gone to fetch me a refreshment. He's so thoughtful that way!"

Pacifica sang:  
"That's why I couldn't be happier.  
No, I couldn't be happier.  
Though it is I admit, the tiniest bit  
Unlike I anticipated.  
But I couldn't be happier.  
Simply couldn't be happier...  
Well, not simply...  
'Cuz getting your dreams,  
It's strange but it seems  
A little, well, complicated...  
There's a kind of a sort of... cost.  
There's a couple of things get... lost.  
There are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed until you've crossed!  
And if that joy, that thrill  
Doesn't thrill like you think it will...  
Still... With this perfect finale  
The cheers and the ballyhoo  
Who wouldn't be happier?  
So I couldn't be happier.  
Because happy is what happens  
When all your dreams come true...  
Well, isn't it?  
Happy is what happens when your dreams come... true!"

The crowd sang: "We love you, Pacifica, if we may be so frank!"

Pacifica sang, "Thank goodness!"

"For all this joy we know who we've got to thank!"

"Thank goodness!"

"That means the Psychic, Pacifica..."

"And fiancée!" sang Pacifica.

"They couldn't be goodlier  
She couldn't be lovelier  
We couldn't be luckier!"

"I couldn't be happier!" sang Pacifica.

"Thank goodness!" sang the citizens.

Pacifica sang, "Today!"


	13. Dippa and Journal 3

It was late afternoon in the Mayor's mansion on the east side of Gravity Falls, several days after Pacifica's press conference.

"Will there be anything else, Sir?" asked Wendoq.

"I've asked you to call me Dipparose, remember?"

"Yes, Sir," said Wendoq, leaving the room without much spirit.

"Wendoq..." said Dipparose.

After Wendoq left, Mabelphaba called from the closet.

"Hey bro-bro, it seems the handsome only get handsomer, while the green just get greener."

Dipparose gasped as Mabelphaba emerged.

"What are you doing here?" asked Dipparose.

"I could ask you the same thing. You're Mayor of Gravity Falls now?" said Mabelphaba.

"The Psychic got me appointed. I'm an un-elected official," said Dipparose.

"He's just using you to get at me," said Mabelphaba. "Hey, why don't you use your position to give me an award?"

"Why should I do that? You're running wild all over the place and your reputation is terrible. How are you even living?"

"I've gotten help from a bunch of gnomes. They're courting me to be their queen."

"You want to be a gnome queen?"

"No, but they're trying to change my mind. Actually, at first they tried to take me by force, until I showed them my telekinetic wind could blow them away – literally."

"Mabbie, why are you here?" asked Dipparose.

"I want you to come into hiding with me, Dippa. You'll be safer, and you can help me with these secret Journals. I stole one from Gideon, and with the help of the gnomes I just found another one. There's a secret panel in a fake tree, and they knew it was there because they know trees."

"Journals?" asked Dipparose. "What are they like?"

"They have all sorts of secrets about Gravity Falls, and spells, too," said Mabelphaba. "Come with me and together we can..."

"Why should I help you? You fly all around Gravity Falls, trying to rescue animals you've never even met, and not once have you ever thought to use your powers to rescue me!"

Dipparose sang:  
All of my life, I've depended on you.  
How do you think that feels?  
All of my life I've depended on you  
And this hideous chair with wheels!  
Scrounging for scraps of pity to pick up  
And longing to kick up  
My heels...

"Dippa, there isn't a spell for everything. I've only learned a few. It's not like cobbling up a pair of... Hey, wait! I remember there's a spell in Journal 3 for Mobility Shoes."

She found the page and began to chant. Dippa's sneakers began to glow ruby red.

"What are you doing?" Dipparose said. "My shoes feel like they're on fire!"

He stood, nearly falling, until Mabelphaba gave him a hand.

"No, don't help me," said Dipparose. "I – I can do this!"

He took several staggering steps.

"Oh Dippa..." said Mabelphaba.

She sang:

"At last I've done what long ago I should  
And finally from these powers something good  
Finally something good..."

"Wendoq! Wendoq! Come quickly!" called Dipparose,

Mabelphaba said, "Wendoq? What is she doing here?"

"Since I can afford it as Mayor, I gave her a job, taking care of me. I've been hoping it will turn into something more. Now that I can walk, it can," said Dipparose.

"Wendoq! Come here at once!" he called again.

"No!" said Mabelphaba. "Dippa, listen, nobody can know I'm here!"

She hid behind a closet as Wendoq came in.

"Yes, what is it, Sir?" asked Wendoq. She spotted Mabelphaba in hiding, and flinched.

"Wendoq..." said Mabelphaba.

Wendoq said, "What are you doing here? You stay back!"

"Wendoq, it's just me," said Mabelphaba. "I'm your friend. I'm not going to hurt you!"

"No! You're lying!" said Wendoq. "That's all you ever do! You and your brother! He's as wacky as you are!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Mabelphaba.

"I'm talking about my life. The little that's left of it," said Wendoq. "I'm not free to leave Gravity Falls, none of us are. Ever since he took power, he's been helping Gideon strip the citizens of our rights... and we didn't have that many to begin with! And do you know why?"

Dipparose said, "To keep you here, with me. But none of that matters anymore. Look."

He stood up from his chair, revealing he could walk.

"You did this for him?" Wendoq asked Mabelphaba.

"For both of us!" said Dipparose.

"Dippa, this changes everything," said Wendoq.

"I know," said Dipparose.

Wendoq sang, "Listen Dippa,"

"What?" asked Dipparose.

Wendoq sang:  
"Uh, Dippa, surely now I'll matter less to you  
And you won't mind my leaving here tonight..."

Dipparose asked, "Leaving?"

Wendoq sang: "Yes...  
Because Robbie is enraged  
And he wants to get engaged,"

Dipparose asked, "Robbie?"

Wendoq sang:  
"Yes Dippa, that's right!  
I've got to go appeal to him,  
Express the way I feel to him..."

"Wendoq, not Robbie!" said Dipparose.

"Oh, Dippa, I lost my heart to Robbie when he wrote that love song for me. You know that."

"Lost your heart? Robbie is terrible for you. He's a total jerk. I think that song hypnotized you. I have to save you from yourself..." said Dipparose.

Mabelphaba said, "Dippa, let her go... Come and help me with this book."

Dipparose took Journal 3 from her, and flipped though the pages.

"Let me see... here it is! A spell for taking someone's heart!"

He began to chant the spell.

"Dippa, be careful!" Mabelphaba said. "I don't think you're pronouncing it right!"

"What are you doing?" asked Wendoq.

Wendoq gasped and grabbed at her chest. "My heart! It feels like it's shrinking!"

Dipparose cried out, "Mabelphaba, do something!"

"I can't!" said Mabelphaba. "You can't reverse a spell once it's been cast!"

"So what do we do?" asked Dipparose.

"I have an idea, the only thing that can save her life..." said Mabelphaba.

She put Wedoq into Dippa's chair.

"It's all your fault!" Dippa said. "If you hadn't shown me that horrible book..."

"Hush, I have to concentrate," said Mabelphaba. She covered Wendoq with a blanket and began to chant a spell.

"Please save her, Mabbie," said Dipparose. He sang:  
Just save her, my poor Wendoq, my sweet my brave,  
Don't leave me 'til my sorry life has ceased..."

"All alone and loveless here  
Just the guy in the mirror  
Just him and me! The Wacky Witch of the East!

"We deserve each other..."

Mabelphaba finished the spell.

"Well... what about her heart?" asked Dipparose.

Mabelphaba said, "It's all right. She won't need one now... I've got to go. I have business in Gideonland."

She left the room.

Dipparose called, "Mabelphaba, wait! Mabelphaba!"

Wendoq stirred under the blanket. "Where am I? What happened?"

Dipparose said, "Nothing, Wendoq, you just fell asleep... and..."

She sat up, and there was a squeak of metal. Th blanket dropped away, revealing she was now a woman made completely of tin.

"What is it? What's wrong?" asked Wendoq.

"It wasn't me!" said Dipparose.

Wendoq looked down at her body and screamed. She ran.

"Wendoq, please listen! It was Mabelphaba! Wendoq! It was Mabelphaba!" said Dippa.


	14. Adorable

Mabelphaba flew her broomstick in through a window of Li'l Gideon's palace at Gideonland. She looked around the throne room for the lever to open the cage of the Winged Grunkles.

Gideon spoke from the giant head. "Ah knew you'd be back."

Mabelphaba turned on him. "Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?"

Gideon came out and faced her. "Hear me out. Ah never meant to harm you."

"Well, you have."

"Ah realize that, and Ah regret it. Mabelphaba..."

"I'm setting my Grunkles free!" said Mabelphaba. "And don't try to interfere, or call the guards..."

"Ah'm not calling anyone. The truth is Ah'm glad to see you again. It gets pretty lonely around here. And ah know you must get lonely too."

"Not lonely enough to date you," said Mabelphaba. "You don't know the first thing about me."

"Oh, but Ah do. Ah do know you," said Gideon. "Ah can't explain it exactly. You know what Ah mean? Mabelphaba, you've been so strong through all of this, aren't you tired of being the strong one? Wouldn't you like someone to take care of you? Please, help me start again."

Mabelphaba said, "Don't you think I wish I could? That I could go back to the time when I believed you really were something? The Adorable L'il Psychic of Gravity Falls? Nobody believed in you more than I did."

Gideon sang: "Oh, my dear...  
Ah never asked for this or planned a career this wild.  
Mah parents put me on TV when Ah was just a child.  
Ah never saw myself as a Solomon or Socrates.  
Ah knew who Ah was, one of your dime-a-dozen mediocrities.  
Then suddenly Ah'm here, respected, worshiped even  
Just because the folks in this town needed someone to believe in.  
Does it surprise you Ah got hooked and all too soon  
What can Ah say? Ah got carried away  
Just like in a cartoon...  
Adorable  
They called me adorable  
So Ah said, 'Ahm Adorable, if you insist.  
Ah will be adorable.'  
And they said, 'Adorable!'  
Believe me, it's hard to resist  
'Cuz it feels adorable.  
They think Ah'm adorable.  
Hey, look who's adorable  
This corn-fed hick!  
Who said it might be keen  
To build a park with my theme  
With an adorable road of yellow brick!

"See, my daddy gives me everything Ah want, and Ah guess Ah just wanted to give the citizens of Gravity Falls everything, too," said Gideon.

Mabelphaba said, "So you lied to them?"

"Only verbally," said Gideon. "Besides, they were the lies they wanted to hear. Mabelphaba, people believe all sorts of things that aren't true... we call it history!"

Gideon sang:  
"A man's called a traitor  
Or liberator.  
A rich man's a thief  
Or philanthropist.  
Is one a crusader  
Or ruthless invader?  
It's all in the label which is able to persist,  
There are precious few at ease  
With moral ambiguities  
So we act as though they don't exist...  
They call me adorable  
So Ah am  
In fact, cute's so much who Ah am that "L'il" is in mah brand.  
And with mah help you can be the same...  
At long, long last receive your due  
Long overdue  
Mabelphaba, the most celebrated  
You'll be so rehabilitated  
There'll such a whoop-dee-doo!  
A celebration throughout the Falls,  
That's all to do with you!  
Adorable, they'll call you adorable!"

Mabelphaba sang: "I'd love to be adorable!"

Gideon sang: "Trust me, it's fun."

Both sang:  
'When you are adorable,  
It would be adorable!  
Adorable, adorable..."

Gideon sang, "One, two and..."

They danced together for a moment.

Mabelphaba sang, "I'll accept your proposition."

Gideon sang, "You're adorable."

Mabelphaba sang, "On one condition."

Gideon said, "Yes?"

Mabelphaba said, "You set my Grunkles free."

Gideon said, "Done."

He pulled a lever and the Grunkles were let loose. They flew around the room and out the window.

"Go! Fly! You're Free! Fly!" said Mabelphaba. "Grunkle Stans, you're free, isn't it great?! Go, fly!"

She went over to another figure covered with a sheet, thinking it was possibly another Grunkle, asleep.

"No! No! Please!" said Gideon.

She pulled off the sheet, revealing Dr. Gompersmond.

"No! It can't be! Doctor Gompersmond..." said Mabelphaba.

"Mabelphaba, we just couldn't keep letting him speak out..." said Gideon. "So I had the Society of the Blind Eye complete their work on his memories."

"Doctor Gompersmond, are you alright? Don't be afraid. It's me, Mabelphaba."

"Bahhhhh."

"Doctor, don't you remember me?"

"Bahhhhh."

"Can't you speak?"

"Bahhhhh."

Gideon was still standing close by. Mabelphaba pulled the amulet on his bolo tie from around his neck and threw it to the ground, where it shattered.

"We have nothing in common," said Mabelphaba. "I will never, ever date you, and I will fight you until the day I die!"

Gideon climbed back into the head and called, "Guards! Guards!"

Gabero ran in with his men.

"Halt!" commanded a guard.

"Are you alright, your Adorableness?" asked Gabero.

Mabelphaba said, "Gabero!"

Gabero said, "I don't believe it..."

"Oh, Gabero, thank God," said Mabelphaba. "I thought you were..."

"Silence witch!" said Gabero.

"There's a Goat on the lam, Sir," said one of the guards.

"Never mind all that," said Gabero. "Fetch me some... some water."

"Water, sir?"

"You heard me, as much as you can carry," said Gabero.

"Yes, sir!" said the guards, marching off to find water.

"Gabero..." said Mabelphaba.

"I said silence!" said Gabero.

Gideon came quickly out of the head. "No! I don't want you to try to kill her!"

Gabero pointed his weapon at Gideon. "Don't make a sound, your Psychicness, unless you want all your guests to know the truth about the adorable L'il Gideon... Mabelphaba, I'll find Doctor Gompersmond later, now get out of here."

"Gabero, you frightened me. I thought, I though you might have changed," said Mabelphaba.

"I have... changed," said Gabero.

Pacifica came in, wearing her new pink "Pacifica the Perfect" outfit.

"What's going on... Mabelphie? Oh, thank God you're alive!" said Pacifica. "Only you shouldn't have come. If anyone discovers you…"

"Pacifica, you'd better go," said Gabero.

"Gabero, what are you..." said Pacifica.

"Please, just go back to the ball," said Gabero.

Pacifica took in that he was threatening Gideon. "Your Adorableness, he means no disrespect. Please understand! You see, we all went to school together..."

"Mabelphaba!" said Gabero.

"Gabero, have you misplaced your mind? What are you doing?" asked Pacifica.

"He's coming with me," said Mabelphaba. "I can't leave him here in trouble."

"What about me?" asked Pacifica.

"That broom has flown," said Mabelphaba. "You made your choice."

"Mabelphaba, let's go... let's go!" said Gabero.

"Fine, go! You deserve each other..." said Pacifica.

Gideon offered Pacifica a bottle with a green liquid in it. "Abandoned by your fiancée? Here, have a swig of this stuff I took from Stanford Pines. It dulls the pain."

Pacifica said, "No, thank you."

Ms. Morrible entered. She was laughing. "Is is true? Your betrothed has taken her into custody?

"Our new captain of the guard had other plans," said Gideon.

"You mean she hasn't been captured?" asked Morrible.

"Quite the contrary," said Gideon. "And considering how well she eluded us last time..."

Morrible said, "Well, we'll just flush her out and force her to show herself."

"But how?" asked Gideon.

"Her brother," said Pacifica, in a broken-hearted tone of voice.

"What? What did you say?" asked Morrible.

Pacifica said, "Use her brother. Spread a rumor. Make her think her brother is in trouble and she will fly to his side... and you'll have her."

"Exactly so," said Gideon.

"Yes, well...a rumor won't do it. Mabelphaba's too smart for that," said Morrible.

"Far too smart," said Gideon.

"Perhaps, a change in the weather..." said Morrible.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a slight headache and I need to lie down," said Pacifica.

After she left the throne room, Pacifica sang:  
"Don't wish, don't start.  
Wishing only wounds the heart...  
There's a girl I know, used to love me so...  
I'm no longer that girl..."

She pondered for a few moments, then got out her cell phone and sent a text.


	15. As Long as You're Kind

Mabelphaba landed the broom away from Gideonland, near a cornfield.

Gabero put his puppets Bee and Book back on his hands. "I've missed you guys so much! I'm sorry I had to take you off when I was pretending to be loyal to Gideon."

"We forgive you," said Book.

"We love you," said Bee.

Gabero kissed them both, and Mabelphaba looked a bit cross.

Mabelphaba sang:  
"You kiss them too fiercely, hold them too tight  
I can't believe your interest is in me tonight.  
My wildest dreaming could not forsee  
That romance between us could ever be.  
Although I've lost faith in  
The girlfriend I'd found  
If I were to date you  
It's just a kind of rebound.  
And if we were to try it  
It'd be over too fast  
Though I'd make every last moment last  
As long as you're kind..."

Gabero sang:  
"Maybe I'm brainless, maybe I'm wise,  
But you've got me seeing through different eyes.  
I'm hoping to learn your mind-moving spell  
And somehow I'm feeling  
That I could do well."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"Every moment, as long as you're kind  
I'll try to wake up your power  
To move things with your mind."

Gabero sang:  
"I agree there's no future  
For us as a pair..."

Both sang:  
"And though I may know,  
I don't care  
If just for this moment  
As long as you're kind  
Come be how you want to  
And see how bright we shine!  
(I'll/You'll) be an apprentice  
Until it is through  
And know I'll be here helping you...  
As long as you're kind..."

Mabelphaba's cell phone beeped, and she gasped as she looked at the text message that came up.

Gabero asked, "What is it?"

"Dippa's in trouble! I've got to go help him," said Mabelphaba. "Sorry, I'll have to leave you here for now. My broomstick can only carry two, and I need to fly him out of danger. I'll come back for you."

"What are you going to do?" asked Gabero.

"For the first time in my life, I'm really going to have to be the Wacky Witch."


	16. The Fall of the House of Candorothy

While Gabero was waiting in a cornfield a few miles down the yellow brick road from the Governor's mansion, he received a cell phone call from Mabelphaba.

"Hey, Gabero. Operation Wacky Witch is proceeding, but I'm having a few difficulties. Dippa is not in the mansion, at least."

"I see," said Gabero.

"Any sign of an attack coming this way from Gideonland? Troop movements?"

"Not that I can tell," said Gabero.

"Shh! Listen... Do you hear that noise? It sounds like somebody in pain," said Mabelphaba.

"It's just the wind," said Gabero.

The siren-like sound came again.

"It's an attack on my brother," said Mabelphaba.

"What? How do you know?" asked Gabero.

"I don't know, I just do..." said Mabelphaba.

Gabero gasped, "I see a house, but it's... it's flying through the sky!"

"I have to move," said Mabelphaba. "If I can't get back to you, go to the old Gideonland site on the west side of Gravity Falls, where the Mystery Shack used to be. There are underground levels that Gideon never found. That's my secret lair."

"How did you find it?" asked Gabero.

"The original Grunkle Stan, the first Winged Grunkle, escaped in the confusion when I flew away from Gideon on a broom. Grunkle Stan flew after me and showed me the way in. But now I've got to go!"

"All right, I'll see you soon," said Gabero.

* * *

The house landed with a thump, and a squashing sound.

Candorothy came to the front door and looked out. "Grendoto, I have a feeling we're not in Portland anymore."

Grendoto came up to her on all fours. "Arf!"

"Did you hit your head when we fell?" asked Candorothy. "You think you are a dog?"

Grendoto nodded and barked again.

Pacifica descended in a pink bubble, a magical transportation method she had just managed to learn.

"Greetings," said Pacifica. "Welcome to Gravity Falls. You look vaguely familiar. Are you a good witch or a wacky witch?"

"Gravity Falls? I lived here a few years ago, before my family moved to Portland. I am not a witch at all," said Candorothy.

"You just killed the Wacky Witch of East Gravity Falls, when you flew your house here and landed on him. So you must be a witch of some sort. Are you a good witch or a wacky witch?"

"Oh no! I did not intend this. It was a freak weather accident. A cyclone picked up our house and carried it here. Everyone else got out, except my friend Grendoto, who was visiting for a sleepover."

"She looks somewhat familiar, too," said Pacifica. "Why is she on all fours?"

"She hit her head when we landed and she thinks she's a dog," said Candorothy.

"We can't all be beautiful," said Pacifica.

"Arf!" said Grendoto. She growled at Pacifica.

"My friend needs medical help, and I need to get back to Portland," said Candorothy.

"You had best consult the Adorable L'il Psychic of Gravity Falls," said Pacifica.

"How will I find him?" asked Candorothy.

"Follow the yellow brick road. It leads to the center of town, to Gideonland," said Pacifica.

"Grendoto cannot get there very fast on all fours and I cannot carry her," said Candorothy.

"I have an idea," said Pacifica. "Come here to the side of the house."

They walked around and found a pair of legs sticking out from under the house. On their feet were a pair of ruby sneakers.

"Those shoes let the Mayor Witch walk, even though he was mobility impaired. Put them on Grendoto's feet and they should let her walk upright again even though she's forgotten how."

Candorothy took the shoes and with a bit of struggle got them on Grendoto's feet. Grendoto stood upright and hobbled with little balance, leaning on Candorothy.

"You're off to see the Psychic, the Adorable Psychic of the Falls," sang Pacifica.

"This seems a bit unnecessary," said Candorothy. "Shouldn't we just call for an ambulance?"

"Just follow the yellow brick road," said Pacifica. "It's the best way. All motor vehicle traffic in town has been shut down by order of the Psychic."

"Just follow the yellow brick road?" Candorothy asked.

"That's right, you just take that one road, the whole time," said Pacifica.

She waved them off until they were out of sight, then laid a bunch of flowers in front of the house.

"Oh, Dipparose," said Pacifica with a sigh.

Mabelphaba landed near Pacifica on her boom. "What a touching display of grief."

Pacifica said, "I don't think we have anything further to say to one another."

Mabelphaba said, "I wanted something to remember him by, and all that is left were those shoes, and now my former friend, Grendoto, has walked off with them. So I'd appreciate some time, alone, to say goodbye to my brother."

Mabelphaba knelt by the flattened figure. "Dippa, please, please, please forgive me... I was too late."

"Mabelphie... you mustn't blame yourself. It's dreadful, it is, to have a house fall on you, but accidents will happen," said Pacifica.

"You call this an accident?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Yes! Well, maybe not an accident..." said Pacifica.

"Well, what do you call it?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Well... a regime change," said Pacifica. "Caused by a bizarre and unexpected twister of fate."

"You think cyclones just appear out of the blue?" asked Mabelphaba.

"I don't know, I never really..." said Pacifica.

"No, of course you never!" said Mabelphaba. "You're too busy telling everyone how wonderful everything is!"

Pacifica said, "I'm a public figure, now. People expect me to..."

"Lie?" asked Mabelphaba.

"Be encouraging!" said Pacifica. "And what exactly have you been doing besides riding around on that filthy, old thing?"

"Well, we can't all come and go by bubble," said Mabelphaba. "Whose invention was that, Gideon's? Of course, even if it wasn't I'm sure he'd still take credit for it."

"Yes, well, a lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us, aren't we?" said Pacifica.

"You didn't really want him. He's just a phony fiancée," said Mabelphaba. "And he only wants to be my apprentice to learn telekinesis for his puppet shows, anyway."

"Quiet," Pacifica whispered. "Gideon's guards are watching. Put on an act like we're fighting over Gabero and then fly away as fast as you can."

Mabelphaba nodded, and said, very loud, "Now wait just a clock tick! I know it may be difficult for that blissful, blond brain of yours to comprehend that someone like him could actually choose someone like me! But it's happened... it's real. And you can wave that ridiculous wand all you want, you can't change it! He never belonged to you, he doesn't love you, and he never did! He loves me!"

Pacifica slapped Mabelphaba, but not as hard as it looked.

Mabelphaba cackled, and said, "Feel better now?"

"Yes, I do," said Pacifica.

Mabelphaba slapped her back, also a staged blow. "Good, so do I."

They play-fought with Pacifica's wand and Mabelphaba's broom.

Mabelphaba whispered, "Thanks for the warning. I'm sure it was Morrible who caused the twister."

"I agree," whispered Pacifica. "I'm sorry my warning came to late for Dippa."

Guards rushed up. "Halt! In the name of the Psychic!"

They nearly grabbed Mabelphaba, but she was prepared and shot into the sky on her broom.

"I almost had her!" said Pacifica.

"Sorry it took us so long to get here, Miss," said one of the guards.

"I can't believe you would sink this low!" Mabelphaba called out for the benefit of the guards below. "To use my brother's death as a trap to capture me?!"

"I never meant for this to happen! Mabelphie!" Pacifica called.

But Mabelphaba was out of earshot, speeding away on her broom.

It was too risky to land and get Gabero now. But Mabelphaba counted on him to follow her directions and find her lair.


	17. No Shrewd Deed

In Gideon's throne room, Gideon and Ms. Morrible listened to the report from his guards on the speaker-phone.

"...And after she said that Gabero loved her and she loved him, we moved in to arrest her. But she flew away too quickly, your Terribleness."

Gideon screamed in rage and hung up the phone. "What incompetent fools! Or are they traitors, turning on me like Gabero did?"

"You ought to catch Gabero and make an example of him" said Morrible.

"So Ah should," said Gideon. "Especially now that he's come between me and mah peach dumplin'. But Ah can't trust the job to those worthless guards. Ah need to call in the big guns."

"What do you mean, Sir?" asked Morrible.

"Ah made photocopies of the Journal pages a long time ago, just in case. There's a spell in there to summon a dream demon. It's in plain language so anyone can use it," said Gideon.

"Are you sure you want to risk that, Sir?" asked Morrible. "Demons can be rather... dangerous."

"Don't tell me what risks to take and what not to!" said Gideon. "Leave me and Ah'll start the invocation."

"Yes sir," said Morrible, scooting from the room.

Gideon set up a ring of candles, with Gabero's picture crossed out in the middle of the circle.

He began to chant the summoning formula, "Triangulum, entangulum. Veneforis dominus ventium. Veneforis venetisarium!"

A strange energy filled his body, making his eyes glow.

"Backwards message, backwards message, backwards message," he said. There was a strange sense of time flowing backwards as the world around him turned gray.

Gideon fell to his knees on the ground. He looked up and saw a black triangle with a big white eye, surrounded by yellow flames. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. He wanted to jump up and run, but he couldn't get himself to move.

The figure turned into a triangular yellow being floating in the air, wearing a black top hat and carrying a cane. It laughed like a lunatic.

"Oh, oh, Gravity Falls! It is good to be back. Name's Bill Cipher, and I take it you're some kind of living ventriloquist dummy? Ha ha, I'm just kidding, I know who you are, Gideon!"

Gideon said, "W-what are you? H-how do you know my name?"

"Oh, I know lots of things!" said the demon. In an eerie reverberating voice it repeated "Lots of things," as all sorts of images flashed over its body. Gidoen glimpsed a picture of the Wheel from his Journal, and a UFO.

"I'd offer you deer teeth, but we're indoors and it would take too long to call one," said Bill.

Gideon said, "Listen to me, demon! Ah have a job for you. Ah need you to enter the mind of Gabero Bensen and find out where Mabelphaba is hiding. Then Ah want you to destroy him."

"Gabero," muttered Bill to himself, turning his back on Gideon. "That will be tricky unless he has a weakness... Aha! Puppets!"

Bill turned back to Gideon.

"You know what, kid?" said Bill. "You've convinced me! I'm sold! I'll help you with this and in return you can help me with something I've been working on! We'll work out the details later."

Gideon said, "Deal!"

As they shook hands, their hands were surrounded by blue flames.

* * *

Gabero looked at the time on his cell phone. Mabelphaba apparently wasn't able to come back for him. It was about time to hit the road for the west side of town.

Then the world turned gray around him, and a small yellow triangle appeared.

"Hi Gabero, I'm Bill Cipher," said the demon.

"What do you want?" asked Gabero.

"Nothing, actually. I'm here to do you a favor," said Bill. "If you agree, I'll make you the most realistic puppet in the world."

"Wow, really? I'd love that," said Gabero.

"Then shake hands," said Bill,

Gabero put out his hand.

"Yes!" Bill pulled him out of his body, and occupied it himself.

"Ha ha! Your body is now the most realistic puppet in the world. My puppet!"

"What? That's not what I thought you meant," said the now disembodied Gabero, floating in the air beside him.

"It's funny how dumb you are. It's been a long time since I was in a body. Two eyes even. This is deluxe!"

"Give me back my body!" said Gabero.

"Tell me where Mabelphaba is hiding!" said Bill.

"Never!" said Gabero.

"What are these things on my hands?" said Bill. "I seem to have two hostages here."

He put Bee near his mouth, ready to rip the puppet apart with his teeth

"No! Don't hurt Book and Bee!" said Gabero. "I'll tell you. She's hiding in a secret lair under the old Gideonland, below where the Mystery Shack used to be."

"Thank you," said Bill. "Now, since I don't need your body any more, I'll just destroy it. This should be fun; pain is hilarious."

* * *

Mabelphaba was working in the lowest underground level of the former Mystery Shack. She had all three journals with her and was studying the instructions on how to open a Portal.

"Grunkle Stan, please help me tune one of your secret TV monitors to find Gabero," said Mabelphaba. "I want to check on him."

Stan, still unable to speak, silently adjusted the controls and zoomed in on Gabero. The man's eyes were yellow and slitted, and he was using a sharp stick to stab himself, with a weird joyous expression on his face.

"Oh no!" cried Mabelphaba. "A demon has got him. It's killing him! He must have let it into his mind!"

She riffled through the pages of the Journals, hunting for any spell that might help. Finally she found one.

Mabelphaba chanted and sang:

"Eleka nahmen nahmen atum atum eleka nahmen  
Eleka nahmen nahmen atum atum eleka nahmen  
Let him have a new body, to save him from the demon's bane  
Let him have a new body that can feel no pain...  
Let his bones never break and however it tries to destroy him,  
Let him never die, let him never die!  
Eleka nahmen nahmen atum atum eleka nahmen  
Eleka nahmen nahmen atum atum eleka... Eleka"

"Ah! What good is this chanting?  
I don't even know what I'm reading  
I don't even know what trick I ought to try!  
Gabero, where are you?! Already dead and bleeding?  
Whenever I try to be clever, someone has to die!  
No shrewd deed goes unpunished  
No act of sobriety goes unresented  
No shrewd deed goes unpunished  
That's my new creed  
My road of good intentions  
Led where such roads always lead  
No shrewd deed  
Goes unpunished!  
Dippa...  
Doctor Gompersmond...  
Wendoq...  
Gabero!"

"One question haunts and hurts  
Too much, too much to mention  
Was I really being shrewd  
Or, as usual, seeking attention?  
Is that all shrewd deeds are when looked at with an ice cold eye?  
If that's all shrewd deeds are  
Maybe that's the reason why  
No shrewd deed goes unpunished  
All sensible urges should be circumvented  
No shrewd deed goes unpunished  
Sure, I meant well, well look at what well meant did!  
Alright, enough, so be it!  
So be it then...  
Let all the Falls be agreed  
I'm wacky through and through  
Since I could not succeed  
Gabero, saving you  
I promise no shrewd deed will I attempt to do again  
Ever again!  
No shrewd deed, will I do  
Again!"


	18. Witch Hunters

Morrible said, "The Psychic has ordered the execution of the Wacky Witch of West Gravity Falls. A brave band of witch hunters has promised to bring back her broomstick as proof of her death!"

A chorus of Gravity Falls citizens sang, "Go! And hunt her and find her and kill her!"

"Good fortune, witch hunters!" shouted Lazy Susan.

"Get her! Get her!" called Tyler, the cute biker.

The citizens sang again, "Go! And hunt her and find her and kill her!"

"Kill the witch!" sang Manly Dan.

The mob sang:  
"Wackiness must be punished,  
Oddballs effectively eliminated.  
Wackiness must be punished.  
Kill the witch!"

Wendoq, now more often called the Tin Woodswoman, expertly twirled the lumberjack's axe her father had given her.

"This is more than just a service to the Psychic. I have a personal score to settle with Mabel... with the witch!" said Wendoq.

Wendoq sang:  
"It's due to her I'm made of tin.  
Her spell made this occur.  
So for once I'm glad I'm heartless,  
I'll be heartless killing her!"

The crowd cheered.

"And I am not the only one," said the Tin Woodswoman. "Oh, come on, you! Come out and tell them what she did to you in class that day. How you were just a little pig and she pignapped you."

Waddles said, "No!"

Wendoq sang:  
You see the piggie also  
Has a grievance to repay  
If she'd let him fight his own battles when he had the chance,  
He wouldn't be a coward today!

"No, no, that's not the way it happened!" said Pacifica. "Madame, you've got to stop this, it's gone too far!"

"Oh, I think Mabelphaba can take care of herself," said Morrible.

"Why does Gideon suddenly want her killed?" asked Pacfica. "I thought he loved her!"

"He made a deal to get her location and now he seems to be possessed... possessed by a different idea, that is," said Morrible. "It's not cray-cray. It's the right decision."

"Ms. Morrible, something's been troubling me about Dipparose and that cyclone," said Pacifica.

"Oh yes... well, I guess it was just his time," said Morrible.

"Was it?" asked Pacifica. "Or did you..."

Morrible said, "Now, you listen to me, Missy, you may have fooled the rest of Gravity Falls with this 'aren't I good' routine, but you know better. You've wanted this since the beginning... and now you're getting what you wanted. So just smile and wave and shut up! Good fortune, good fortune witch hunters!"

"Kill her!" called Manly Dan.

"Kill the witch!" called Lazy Susan.

The mob sang:  
"Wackiness must be punished.  
Brave witch hunters, I would join you if I could.  
Because wackiness must be punished...  
Punished... Punished...  
But good!"


	19. Changed For Good

In her lair underground, on the level directly below the old Mystery Shack, Mabelphaba slammed and locked the door of a side room. She came into a room filled with assorted inventions and experiments.

Mabelphaba said, "Oh, for heaven's sake, stop crying! I can't listen to it anymore! Oh, you want to see your Aunt Em and your Uncle What's-his-name again?! Then get those shoes off Grendoto's feet! Little brat... takes a dead man's shoes; must have been raised in a barn! Like I said before, Candorothy: I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog's shoes!"

"Grunkle Stan!" she called. "Oh, Grunkle Stan, there you are. Where are the others?"

Stan gestured, pointing downstairs.

"Grunkle Stan, please... if you don't at least try to start speaking again you will never..."

Pacifica came in.

"Go away," said Mabelphaba.

"They're coming for you," said Pacifica.

"Go away!"

"Let the little girl go, and that other poor little girl who thinks she's a dog... Grendodo."

Mabelphaba shook her head.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but someone has to say it... You are out of control! I mean, come on! They're just shoes, let it go! Mabelphaba, you can't go on like this."

"I can do anything I want. I am the Wacky Witch of West Gravity Falls!"

Another copy of Grunkle Stan brought her a faxed letter.

"At last! What took you so long?" said Mabelphaba, beginning to read.

"What is it?" asked Pacifica. "What's wrong? It's Gabero, isn't it? Is he..."

"We've seen his face for the last time," said Mabelphaba.

"Oh no!" said Pacifica.

Mabelphaba picked up a bucket. "You're right... It's time I surrender."

"Mabelphie... Mabelphie, what is it?"

"You can't be found here! You must go," said Mabelphaba.

"No," said Pacifica.

Mabelphaba said, "You must leave."

"No! Mabelphie, I'll tell them everything."

"No! They'll only turn against you."

"I don't care!"

"I do! Promise me, promise me, you won't try to clear my name... promise."

"Alright... I promise. But I don't understand."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"I'm limited.  
Just look at me, I'm limited.  
And just look at you, you can do all I couldn't do, Pacifica."

"Here. Go on. Take these Journals. I made copies of all the pages I need," said Mabelphaba, handing the books to Pacifica.

"Mabelphie... you know I can't read the codes... Mabelphie..."

"Well then, you'll have to learn."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"Now it's up to you  
For both of us.  
Now it's up to you."

"You're the only real girlfriend I've ever had," said Mabelphaba.

"And I've had so many friends... but only one girlfriend, too," said Pacifica.

Pacifica sang:  
"I've heard it said  
That people come into our lives for a reason,  
Bringing something we must learn  
And we are led to those  
Who help us most to grow  
If we let them,  
And we help them in return.  
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true.  
But I know I'm who I am today  
Because I knew you.  
Like a child who first sees Muppets,  
When she turns on the TV,  
Like a goat that meets a piglet  
Half way through the wood...  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  
But, because I knew you...  
I have been changed  
for good..."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"It well may be,  
That we will never meet again  
In this lifetime.  
So let me say before we part  
So much of me  
Is made of what I learned from you.  
You'll be with me  
Like a hand-print on my heart...  
And now whatever way our stories end  
I know you have re-written mine  
By being my friend...  
Like a ship in a fan-fiction  
We could almost be,  
Like a snake and badger make a snadger  
In a distant wood...  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  
But because I knew you..."

Pacifica sang, "Because I knew you..."

Both sang:  
"I have been changed...  
For good..."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"And just to clear the air,  
I ask forgiveness for the things I've done  
You blame me for."

Pacifica sang, "But then I guess, we know there's blame to share."

Both sang, "And none of it seems to matter anymore!"

They sang together, each with her own lines.

"Like a child who first sees Muppets when she turns on the TV..."

"Like a ship in a fan-fiction, we could almost be."

"Like a goat that meets a piglet."

"Like a snake that meets a badger."

"Halfway through the wood."

"In the wood."

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?" sang Pacifica.

"I do believe I have been changed for the better," both sang.

"And, because I knew you..." sang Pacifica.

"Because I knew you..." sang Mabelphaba.

Both sang:  
Because I loved you  
I have been changed  
for good..."

The voices of the witch hunters came from above. "Kill the witch!"

"You have to hide. No one can know you were here. Hide yourself!" said Mabelphaba.

Mabelphaba pulled a screen around Pacifica, and rushed out of the room.

A chorus sang:  
"And goodness knows  
The wacky's lives are lonely  
Goodness knows the wacky die alone..."

Wendoq and the other witch hunters ran in. Wendoq saw the bucket of water and grabbed it.

Mabelphaba ran into the room, looking pale. "No!"

"Yes!" said Wendoq, throwing the water over her.

"I'm melting! I'm melting!" cried Mabelphaba, turning into a puddle on the floor.

The witch hunters released Candorothy and Grendoto from the room where they were locked up. They stormed away in triumph.

"Mabelphie? Mabelphie?" called Pacifica.

The original Stan Pines pulled away the screen. All that Pacifica saw remaining of Mabelphaba was her hat and a small green bottle.

Pacifica cried and grabbed the hat, holding it against her.

Stan handed her the bottle. "Pa... Pacifica."


	20. Off to Be a Wizard

Ms. Morrible was in the throne room with Bill-Gideon (Bideon), whose eyes were yellow and had vertical slits if one looked closely.

"Well, I thought it went quite well! They seem thrilled to shreds with their brains and their hearts, and this and that..." said Morrible.

"That was fun," said Bideon. "But things are about to get boring for this host body, so I'll be leaving for now. I'll be back some day... I have big plans for Gravity Falls! I've been influencing things around here for a long time. You know, I'm made mostly of yellow brick!"

Gideon went limp for a moment, then shuddered.

"Your Adoreableness, are you back in control?" asked Morrible.

"Yes, but Ah feel awful," said Gideon. He groaned and put his head in his hands.

Pacifica entered.

"Oh, Miss Pacifica! I thought you'd be out festivating," said Morrible.

Pacifica held out a green bottle. "This was Mabelphaba's."

"What's that you say?" asked Gideon.

"It was a keepsake. It was her mother's. She told me so herself. I've only seen a little green bottle like this one other time. It was right here, in this very room. You offered me a drink from it, and said it came from Stan Pines."

"What does it mean?" asked Gideon.

"It means you tricked Mabelphaba into enchanting her own father into a monster," said Pacifica.

Morrible said, "So that was it. That's why she had such powers! She was a child of someone who lived in high-magic Gravity Falls and the outside world."

"Ah don't care about that," said Gideon. "She's dead... All because Ah made a stupid deal with a demon."

Gideon sang:  
"Ah am a sentimental man  
Who always longed to be...  
A lover..."

"She'll never be mah marshmallow now. Ah give up. Ah don't care about anything anymore." Gideon began to cry.

Pacifica said, "Then you won't mind that I got the video tape footage taken by your spy buttons and turned it over to the police."

Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland entered.

Blubs said, "Lil' Gideon, you are under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, and breaking our hearts. Durland? The tiny handcuffs."

The heartbroken Gideon surrendered without a fuss.

"Arrest Ms. Morrible too," said Pacifica. "She's his partner in crime."

"Yes, Pacifica," said Blubs, and Durland got out handcuffs for Morrible as well.

"What about Pacifica?" said Morrible. "She just as much an accomplice as I am."

"She's the one who found the evidence of Gideon's fraud, and turned it over to us," said Blubbs. "As far as I can see, she's perfectly innocent."

"Yeah, she's Pacifica the Perfect," said Durland.

"Ms. Morrible, have you ever considered how you'd fare in captivity?" asked Pacifica. "Personally, I don't think you'll hold up very well. My professional opinion is that you do not have what it takes. I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will. Take her away!"

Morrible cried "No!"

* * *

The citizens sang:  
"Good news!  
She's dead!  
The Wacky Witch is dead!  
The wackiest witch in Gravity Falls  
The weirdest one anyone here recalls, is dead!  
Good news!  
Good news!"

* * *

The Scarecrow went down to the first level of Mabelphaba's lair, and knocked on the door of the elevator leading down to the portal level.

The elevator opened and Mabelphaba came out. She gave him a quick hug.

"Gabero! I thought you'd never get here. Come on down. Wendoq is already here, and she brought Waddles."

"Our performance seems to have gone over well," said Gabero. "L'il Gideon was heartbroken over your death. He admitted his fraud and is now in prison."

"Yay!" said Mabelphaba. "But sorry about making you a Scarecrow."

"Never mind," said Gabero. "You saved my life. And you did what you promised: I can now move a puppet with my mind."

"What about Bee and Book?" asked Mabelphaba.

Gabero fished in the pockets of his scarecrow suit and produced the puppets. He put them on his hands.

"Hi Mabelphaba!" said Bee.

"Gabero got us off his old body once the demon was gone," said Book.

They descended in the elevator to where the others were, on the portal level.

The Tin Woodswoman said, "I made a deal with you to attack with water, since you promised to try to get my real body back. But I still don't get how it worked."

Mabelphaba said, "There's another copy machine down here like the one Gideon took to make the Winged Grunkles. But most people don't know the copier clones melt in water. I found out because one day I spilled Mabelphaba juice on one of the Grunkles by accident."

"A paper clone... I get it now," said Wendoq.

"The only thing that didn't go right was that I never got those ruby sneakers back," said Mabelphaba.

"Why did you want them so much?" asked Gabero.

"For Dippa. I had to put them on his paper clone. Tyrone had to be able to walk around to be a realistic target," said Mabelphaba.

"Then Dippa is..." said Gabero.

Dipparose wheeled forward from the back of the crowd of Winged Grunkles. "I'm all right, even though I'm wheelchair bound again."

Wendoq said, "Dippa, you're better off than you deserve. You nearly killed me with that stupid heart spell."

"I know, and I'm sorry," said Dipparose. "I shouldn't have tried to keep you from Robbie."

"I forgive you, if your sister can put me back to normal," said Wendoq. "What about you? Can't Mabelphaba just cast the shoe spell again?"

"Mabbie can't cast another Mobility Shoe spell while the other pair exists in this world."

"I have a solution for that," said Mabelphaba. "All these spells can't be undone in this world, but I hope they can in a different world."

"A different world?" asked Gabero.

"Yep, I got the portal working. It opens to different dimensions, and I found a good one. It's got talking animals, magic, and candy. We're going now. It'll be a great adventure time for us."

"Fascinating," said Gabero.

"We'll stay for a year, and then the Winged Grunkle clones will re-open the portal for us. You can come too, and I'll see if I can restore you to a human body."

"No thank you," said Gabero. "I love this puppet one. Besides, Pacifica has offered for me to be the new Mayor of Gravity Falls."

"She's taking the place of the Psychic, so she'll be the real one in charge," said Mabelphaba. "You'll just be a puppet ruler."

"I know," said Gabero. "What could be better?" He hummed "Puppeting through life."

"All right, if you're staying, you can take her a message. She deserves to know I'm still alive. I hope, when I get back, that we can join forces against Bill Cipher... and in other ways."

Mabelphaba sang:  
"Tell her I'm still defying Gravity  
Falls, but I will come back and have a tea...  
We'll try a second round."

"When do we leave for the other world?" asked Dippa.

He sang:  
"I know I would be happy,  
I'd even be toe-tappy,  
I'd run around the block.  
I'd be fast, I'd be fleeting,  
If I could go two-feeting,  
If only I could walk."

Wendoq added in song, "If I only had a bod."

The original Grunkle Stan added, haltingly, "If only... I... could talk. And not... have wings."

"Let's go right now," said Mabelphaba. "In this new world I won't be a Wacky Witch. I'll be a Wizard."

The Portal opened, and the Winged Grunkles lifted the dimensional travelers through one by one.

Mabelphaba sang,  
"I'm off to be a Wizard  
In this wonderful new world of ours."

The others chorused:  
"She is, she is a wonderful Wiz  
If ever a Wiz there was.  
If ever a wonderful Wiz there was,  
Mabelphaba is one because  
Because, because, because, because, because!  
Because of the wonderful things she does!"

"She's off to be a Wizard  
In this wonderful new world of ours!"

**The End**


End file.
